Begging for work

The plan was to write about job hunting tonight. But it is a pretty emotionally raw topic right now so I decided to write about something else. I made this decision while driving home and even decided what I would write about. But my ability to hold thoughts in my head has dramatically decreased since becoming a mother. I have thought about it for about 2 hours now and... nothing. A complete blank slate. Not even a clue.

So back to the original plan. I guess.

I have been actively job hunting for about 4 months now. I want to move to a different area of the country in order to be closer to friends and family. But in the process of doing so I will be making the decision to move from a major metropolitan area to a small town. By small town I mean about 5000 people in the town. When I told my father the size of the town he thought it sounded large to him. Of course he lives in a town of about 700 people. It is a really smart move on my part. NOT! I decide to go job hunting in a very limited market when the unemployment rate has hit an all time high in most the country. Smart move!

But every night I poured through the internet looking for possible jobs. And what I discovered is that I apparently missed the day in high school where they talked about careers. I could be a physician...or a physical therapist... or nurse... but not tomorrow. I did not go to school for anything medical related. Okay that is not entirely true. I did take an EMT class once. My friend (the instructor) and my other friend (the cop) convinced me to give it a try. It must have been fun to watch me read the text book with my hands strategically placed over almost every picture in the book because gaping wounds make me queasy. I not only made it through the class but also made it through the ER time. It was good practice for when I became a mother and became an expert in bodily fluids. But it is not a career choice. So since I can not actually do the medical work I thought it best not to apply for most of the available jobs.

But late on March 10th I looked at one more site and found MY job. Mine. The job description could not have been written without looking at my current resume. It required both of my degrees (that's right Target lady, I have 2 degrees!). And it was a combination of my current job and my previous job (changed careers in between jobs). It was mine. I was offered an interview. Of course. I was perfect for the job. And they could google my name and find NY Times articles to prove it.

But I didn't get the job. I remained hopeful last week. But today I knew it was not looking good. Today I officially gave up hope. I was surprised by my emotional reaction. As I picked up my daughter from school she ran into my arms (which is in stark comparison to her usual, "MAAAAAA, you came too early and I did not get my computer time!") and I held her tight as I choked back my sobs of disappointment. And she held on tight, giving me the strength to move past my disappointment.

So no job (other then my current one). No possibilities (unless I want to make up a medical history that I can not handle). No hope. Time for me start considering the option of creating a plan B.

Mean Mama