Nightmare

I have been struggling with a recent nightmare. 

Actually at this point I have forgotten most of it.  But at the end of the nightmare I got into my car, with Ladybug in the back seat and started to drive off. 

I was leaving a farm with corn fields all around (childhood stuff).  But as I pulled out of the drive I didn't turn and I drove right into the field and down the embankment.

I remember clearly thinking that it would be okay.  Yep, the car is going to need to be fixed because I will crash the front end.  But I would just have to deal with it.  No need fretting over it.

And then a split second later I realized that I was not crashing.  I was sinking.  In mud.  And I knew that the car was going under.  Head first.  And that I was going to die. 

I looked back at Ladybug as the back end of the car disappeared under the mud.  She was going to die too.  It was so real.  I wasn't ready to die.  I wasn't done living.  I didn't want her to die.  This just could not be the end.

And then I woke up.  And the feelings were still so real.  But I fell back to sleep.  And I had the exact same dream. 

Over and over through the night.

I didn't like it.

Mean Mama