Baby dolls

I was a little disappointed this weekend.  Some may say I am reading into this.  I fear it is deeper though.

I was cleaning up Ladybug's room.  Before you yell at me for cleaning up her room instead of making her clean it up, please keep in mind that I am actually the one who made the mess.  I tore it up.  Literally.  I was looking for something.  And went on a rampage.  Everything got dumped out of bins and drawers into the middle of the room.  A disaster. And I let it be there for about 2 weeks.  Not because I wanted her to clean it up.  But because I was lazy.  No other explanation.

After week one I went into the room and with a garbage bag.  I was smart enough to do this while Ladybug was in the tub.  You see, she is a bit of a pack rat.  She refuses to let me throw away anything.  But I started doing just that.  By the end of her bath I had a full large bag of things that were leaving our life forever.

Then on Sunday I went back in.  This time she was not in the tub.  And my mission was a little bigger.  Not only was I going to find more trash and put everything away, I planned on getting rid of toys that she no longer used.  We took out another full large garbage bag of trash.  We got rid of a train set.  We filled a box full of things to donate.  And we put away everything.  She helped.  A little.  As I said...I made the mess.

At the end we got to the baby doll bin.  I remember before she came home a friend asked me if I had any dolls for her.  I told her I had 2.  She laughed and told me I needed more.  I hadn't planned on getting more but she has more now.  Lots more.  So I decided that maybe we could part with a few.  We went through each one.  I asked her if she wanted to keep or get rid of.  I let her pick. 

And this is where I get ... worried.

By the time we got through the bin she had decided to keep all but 3.  The 3 she decided to get rid of???  The little black baby dolls.  Really.  And because I like to turn everything into a catastrophe I had to address it.  So I asked her why.  Why does she not want to keep them? 

Ladybug: Well look at them.
Mama: I am.
Ladybug: They are not pretty.
Mama: Why are they not pretty?
Ladybug: Well, that one's hair is too short and too curly.
Mama: She has hair like yours -- only shorter.
Ladybug:  I know.  It's not pretty.
Mama:  What about the other 2?
Ladybug: There skin is too dark.
Mama: (holding the baby dolls up to her arm) Your skin is darker than theirs.  And you have beautiful skin.
Ladybug:  No I don't.  Brown is not pretty.

We ended up keeping the baby dolls - despite wanting to get rid of things.  And we are working on the issues.  But it makes me sad.

Mean Mama