sometimes we have success

I know I complain a lot.  So I thought I would tell you of 2 (Yes! 2) success we had today.

When I finally got myself motivated today to get the day going (which was well after noon) I started out with a shower.  I told Ladybug that while I was showering I expected her to clean up the living room.  Before you think that I am a mean mama (despite having that name), please understand that the room was a disaster because she made it that way.  It was her hair bows, her barbies, her art work, her school work, her dirty clothes, her toys. 

I was in the shower for about 30 seconds -- and enjoying the fact that I did not have to hold on the shower walls to prevent myself from falling over -- when she came up and told me it was clean.  Yeah.  RIGHT!  I don't believe it for a second.  But I am in the shower... what was I really going to do about it?  When I got out I went to her room -- where she had taken up residence to play with her barn and animals -- and told her that when I got dressed I planned on going downstairs and throwing away everything still in the living room.  She looked at me with wide eyed innocence and said, "Fine."

It made me think.  Did she clean the living room?  I check one more time.  But I got a, "It's clean Mom."  So I got dressed and went downstairs.  And instead of freaking out, I just grabbed a trash bag and started filling it.  I warned her.  I checked in with her.  I told her what I was going to do.  Time to follow through.  When the bag was full, (yes, full) she came downstairs.  And she asked what was in the bag.  So I told her.  And she freaked out.  She started throwing things out of the bag.  And then she stomped upstairs.  So I put everything back in the bag.  Barbies...clothes...books...art work... shoes... her computer... 

The stuff went in the bag several times, and was thrown out of the bag several times before I asked a very angry Ladybug to come sit with me.  I sat her on the couch and I pulled up a chair to face her.  I took both of her hands in mine and I asked her if she was mad at me.  Which of course illicited a look that not only told me that she thought I was stupid but also let me know she was very angry.  But I refused to take her "looks" as an answer.  So I asked again.  And she unhappily answered.  I asked why.  She said because I was throwing her things away.  So I reviewed this with her.

Mama:  Ok you are mad because I threw your things away?
Ladybug: Um...Yeah.
Mama:  Ok.  So before I took a shower did I ask you to clean the living room?
Ladybug: Yeah.
Mama: After my shower did I ask you if the living room was clean?
Ladybug: Yeah.
Mama: Did I tell you I was going to throw away all things still on the living room.
Ladybug:  Yeah.
Mama:  Did you tell me that was okay?
Ladybug: Yeah.
Mama: Okay so let me get this straight... You told me the living room was clean and I could throw away everything.  I trusted you.  I threw away everything.  And you are mad at me?
Ladybug: Well?
Mama:  You told me something... I trusted you... and you are mad at me?
Ladybug: Well... (giggles)

So I repeated this several times with a very perplexed look on my face before she finally fell over laughing at how stupid I sounded.  Crisis averted.

Then it was time for us to get out of the house.  We needed to go to the local book store to get my father a birthday present.  The plan was to get him a jazz CD.  I know it seems a little odd to go to a book store for music but it works for us. Before going I sat down Ladybug and told her that we are going to get a CD for my dad.  I was not buying anything else.  I was not buying her a book.  She said she understood.  Do you see the set up yet??

When we arrived I sent her off to the children's section (free range) and I headed to the music section.  Here is the problem.  My dad loves jazz.  I hate it.  And watching me pick out a jazz CD is likely comical for others and just frustrating for me.  So I gave up quickly and decided that I would just get him a gift certificate.  I cheat.  So I headed to the children's section and found Ladybug.  I sat with her and read several books.  And then the "Can I just get one book?" started.  I said no several times.  I read but she started whining.  I told her that we needed to go since she was having a hard time with hearing the no.  We headed to the registers.  Or more accurately...I headed to the registers.  She lallygagged (fun word) behind me.  She refused to stay up with me so I guided her kind of like a herded corralling the defiant sheep.  She touched everything.  I tried to block every grab.  Finally we made it to the line.

And the attitude started.  "I am not going to stand next to you.  Don't touch me.  I don't have to listen to you."  I put my hands on her shoulders and made her stand in front of me.  The couple in front of us -- the young couple that likely wasn't married and definitely did not have kids yet -- became uncomfortable.  The slowly inched as close the the person in front of them in line in an attempt to put as much space between them and us.  I told her I was not letting her go.  I told her to calm down.  I kept my cool.  I told her if she didn't calm down we were going to have to leave without getting the gift card and she could tell my dad why he didn't get a birthday present (I didn't tell her that it is already past his birthday). 

Finally she whined (less attitude) for me to let go.  I opted to switch from holding her shoulders to holding one wrist.  I have perfected the art of holding her wrist in a way that she can't get out (no matter how she struggles) and yet I am hardly touching her at all.  Then I asked her if she wanted to pick out which gift card to get.  She picked one with Wild Thing on it.  Fitting.  For both her and my dad. 

And then her attitude changed instantly.  Sweet.  Helpful.  Loving.  So much so that we made it through the book store and the grocery store without further incident.

...Until she spilled orange soda all over my cream carpet.  But I kept my cool through that too.

Mean Mama