when is it racism

You would think that if you are a victim of a racist comment or action you would know about.  It is easy to tell when it is directed toward you and overt.  But don't assume that racist people are stupid.  They are racist... but they don't want people to know.  They hide it.

One of the women I work with is a racist.  She would deny it.  But she is.  She is good with Ladybug.  She is sweet to her.  You might not even know she is a racist.  But she is.

If you start a conversation with something like... "I am not a racist but..."  or   "I don't have an issue with black people but..."  Hint!  If you start a sentence like that you are about to say something racist.

My co-worker told me she stopped going out dancing at her favorite club because more and more black people started going to the club.  Or when she is describing a client, she will say if they are black.  She never identifies the white clients as "white."  Usually the race of the client is irrelevant -- why bring it up?

But then there are other times when things are not so obvious.

Like the other day when we went grocery shopping.  We passed by a guy pushing his son in a cart.  As Ladybug passed by he grabbed his son's hand and pulled it into the cart saying, "Don't touch."  Was he a germ freak and didn't want his son to get sick by touching another kid?  Was he being respectful and preventing his son from touching her hair?  Or was he "protecting" his son from touching a black child?  Why did I assume the last? 

He checked out in a different lane than me at about the same time.  Was it my imagination that he was looking at me a lot?  Was it my imagination that he had a scowl on his face?  Was I taking it personally?  Was he just having a bad day?

We walked out to the parking lot at the same time.  We parked in the same row.  I walked down one side.  He walked down the other.  But we were parked on the same side.  He was parked just 2 cars down from me.  So why did he walk on the other side?  Why did he wait until the last minute to cross?

I assumed it is because I am the mother of a black child.  I ASSUMED.  Maybe I was wrong.

Mean Mama