Small world

I have a lot going on in me.  I feel the turmoil.  I feel ...  Yeah, that is about it.  I feel.

Last week I had a "small world" moment.

About 15 years ago I started a new job.  I hadn't planned on taking a new job.  It was just one of those things that happened to me.  I got talked into doing an interview for a job I didn't want and walked out hoping I would get the job.

I loved the job.  It was working with teenage boys in a residential treatment program.  And I connected with one particular boy.  He was quiet and shy.  Reserved.  He didn't reach out to anybody.   But he did to me.  We developed a wonderful working relationship.  Trust.  Honesty.  And let's be honest... I loved that kid!  I would have taken him home and made him a part of my family if I could.  He stole my heart.  And he blossomed. 

And then it was time to let him go.  Not because I believed it.  But because I was told.  I thought that he wasn't ready to move on.  The team thought I wasn't ready to let go.  I didn't want to let go.  But it was more then that.  But my job wasn't to hold back a child.  So I made the final preparations for him to be successful and I let him go.

And for 15 years I would think of him and wonder how he was doing. 

Last week at work I was looking through new client reports and his name popped up.  And it is a unique name.  How was it possible that 14 years later, nearly 200 miles away, and he pops back into my life.  He lives 5 miles from me. 

And then I panicked.  I knew this kid because of a confidential job while he was a juvenile.  I have confidential information on him of when he was a juvenile.  Sealed record.  I can not use that information to form an opinion of his current situation.

Actually, after my boss spoke with the attorneys it was determined I could have nothing to do with this case.  I had to remove myself from his case.  I could not participate.  I can not know anything. 

I loved this kid.  He was in my office last Friday.  I was standing talking to someone in the lobby when he arrived.  My back was to him.  I heard his voice.  And I had to walk away without turning around. It broke my heart.

Mean Mama