pants on the ground

last season (at least I think it was last season) on American Idol an older guy made up a song and auditioned. I say older because, if memory serves, he was about 60 years old. The song? "Pants on the ground" It went viral on the internet. But when Mary J. Blige was asked about it on a red carpet she refused to talk about it. At least I think it was Mary J. Blige.

But it addressed one of my pet peeves. I hate those pants. Well, to be exact...I don't mind over size clothes. I actually prefer it to some skin tight clothes. But keep them on your body. PLEASE!!! I do not need to see your under garments. I just don't. The waist of the pants should be at the wait. Not under your butt. I do not need to see your boxers. I don't.

So tonight I needed to make a trip to the mall. Last night I was sitting watching Ladybug do gymnastics. I leaned down to pick up my drink and heard a loud "pop." I had snapped my underwire. I have learned from experience that it will poke through soon and it will be a useless bra. I have also learned from experience that once one goes, all the others bought at that same time will soon pop too. Currently I only have 2 bras that I like. One is gone. I was hoping to wait until September to buy new ones because I am hoping to buy a size smaller. But I leave for vacation tomorrow and I need more than 1 bra. So a trip to the mall was necessary. I only buy bras at Lane Bryant. Maybe some day I will buy elsewhere but right now they make great bras for my size. So a trip to the mall was necessary.

After buying the bras and stopping at the bookstore for 2 books for me and a book and coloring book for Ladybug, I decided that we needed to have a quick dinner at the food court. Yeah, so not on the diet. But we get our food and sit down. I love to people watch and Ladybug has developed a taste for it. So we glance around. And immediately we both notice a boy sitting with his back to us. He is in his 20's. He is leaning forward across the table. And he is showing more crack then any self respecting plumber possibly could. Actually crack. Not boxers. Hairy crack!

I make Ladybug change seats so her back is to him. But like a train wreck, it is impossible for her not to look around and stare. Finally he gets up to leave. He adjusts his pants. He doesn't actually have boxers on. Or briefs. He has pants on. That's it. Pants! Nothing underneath. He adjusts his pants so only about half his hairy disgusting crack is showing. Problem is that his shirt is not oversized. It comes down to his natural waist. Please...put some boxers on because I would rather see your plaid boxers than your hairy crack.

I guess trips to the mall are not family friendly and should be done at kid free times for the foreseeable future.

Mean Mama