Sabotage

It is a common theme when it comes to kids with attachment issues.  And yet it is still painful to watch while it is happening.  It happens.  Over and over.  But we want each time to be the last. 

Ladybug has been fabulous lately.  Good.  Wanting to please.  Loving.  Cuddly.  Ok, more like clingy but it a very loving way.  So Thursday I announced that she would be having an overnight visit with her friend B this weekend (my house).

And the sabotage began.  She turned into a whiny, demanding, angry girl.  I picked her up from the Y after school on Friday.  I greeted her with smiles and hugs.  She greeted me with demands and a complete lack of listening skills.

Mama: Hi Honey.
Ladybug:  Can we go out of dinner?
Mama: Hi Honey!
Ladybug:  I guess that means no!
Mama:  Hi Honey.
Ladybug: Hi (said in a breathless groan fashion)
Mama: Would you like a piece of gum?
Ladybug: Sure.

I had her the tub of gum (because gum seems to no longer come in a pack of 6.  She hands it back to me and I can tell immediately she has taken a lot.  So I ask out many she has taken.  There is so much in her mouth she can not be understood.  I make her hand it to me.  Her freshly chewed gum wad must have about 6 pieces in it.  I look back at her and realize that she still has gum in her mouth.  She must have only handed me half of what she took.  And we haven't even made it out of the Y parking lot yet.

We stop at the store to get milk.  We also get pizza and ice cream.  Back in the car I let her know that we did not get a new Netflix movie.  Every Monday I turn one in so every Friday she can have a new one.  I don't know what happened but this week it did not show up.  But I was not too worried.  I mean, we have a ton of movies at home so she can still have movie night.  But I announce that there is no movie and instantly ....

WAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

Serious sobs.  Melt down.  Over a movie.  I did not have enough sleep under my belt to deal with this.

Once we are home and she is done with her freak out I remind her that her room must be clean before B comes over.  It looks like it has been hit by a tornado.  But I give her a choice.  She can clean it before movie time.  Or she can clean it in the morning before cartoon time.  She states that she wants to clean in the morning -- not surprising.

But I am not stupid.  I know morning will come and she will want to do something other than cleaning her room.  So when I went to bed, I sabotaged the tv.  It would not turn on without me.  In general, the rule for weekends is that the tv does not go on until 8am.  This is because if I had not set that limit she would be up at 4am asking to watch tv.  At least with the 8am rule she will sleep until about 7am.

But not this morning.  This morning she woke me up at 6am.  Hyped up that B is coming (she wasn't scheduled to arrive until about 3pm).  UGH.  And she woke me up with negotiations.  "Mama, how about if I pick up 3 things now and do the rest after tv time." 

Yeah, right kid.  Good try.  I tell her to clean her room or no tv time.  Simple.  Clear.  Not open for negotiation.

At 8am she announces the tv is not working.  Oh yes, I am a smart mama.  I ask if her room is clean.  She says yes.  I tell I will be inspecting.  Is she sure?  She is.  So I go check.  And it looks better.  Like just a small tornado has hit.  I sit down.  And I simply say that there will be no tv until everything is put where it belongs.  She tells me she doesn't know where it belongs.  So I went back to bed.

That motivated her.  She whined.  And complained.  And stomped.  But she cleaned.  And then I turned on the tv.

When I got up she started right back in with the negativity.  Didn't like what I made for breakfast.  Didn't like what was on tv.  Dumped her plant on the carpet and left the dirt where it landed.  Complained about having to help with the chores. One thing after another. 

And then I broke.  I called it what it was.  I asked her if I should call B's mom and cancel.  Because this is what it appeared to me.  And I let her know one more problem and I would do exactly that.  She wanted to sabotage this play date, I was willing to grant her wish.

She turned it around.

Mean Mama