extended family

While amusing, I have decided to skip my most recent bad travel karma.  While I find it amusing I am not sure that anybody else would.  But there was something that came to a head this mini vacation.

My father is from St. Louis (Go Card!).  His entire family still lives there.  His father.  His brother.  His sister -- and her husband, kids, and grandkid.  Cousins.  When we see them we always travel there.  They never come to see us.  So my dad, step mom, daughter, and I went for a long weekend.  I wanted Ladybug to have one more chance to see my grandfather before he dies. 

It is not that he is physically close to death -- his doctor's say he is in good health -- but he is getting old (turning 86 this month).  His memory is about 10 seconds.  And I am not actually joking about that.  For a number of years he has repeated himself a lot.  He would ask the same question over and over.  But now he asks the same question every 10 seconds.  He sometimes forgets who I am.  He didn't always remember Ladybug this trip either.  He would ask who her mother was because he has no memory of her.

When my grandmother died suddenly in 2004, my grandfather went down hill fast.  My grandmother had never been healthy.  She use to say she had lived on borrowed time for 30 years.  She had major heart problems and had many heart surgeries.  She had Lupus.  She was shrinking.  She spent some time in her 40's really sick.  By the time I entered the family she was healthier -- but she was never healthy.   Our entire family went on a cruise in 2004 -- 3 generations.  It was fun.  Then 6 weeks later my grandmother did not wake up one morning.  She was 76.

My grandfather was devastated.  He wailed.  For years.  He framed every photo he had of her and put them around their bedroom.  When asked if we could get him anything he would just say "My Wife."  They met when my grandmother was 19.  On a blind date.  But not a blind date with each other.  It was a double date.  My grandmother was set up with one of my grandfather's friends and my grandfather was set up with one of my grandmother's friends.  They fell in love and were married.

When my grandmother died everyone assumed my grandfather would die soon after her.  It broke his heart.  It crushed his life.  He crawled inside himself.  But unlike his wife, his body is strong.  His heart...his soul...his spirit has given up.  His body continues on.

I don't think I knew how much he had changed since the last time we were in St. Louis -- about 2 years ago.  It was hard on Ladybug.  I am not sure she will get to see him again.  

Mean Mama