I read an article this week. I would link to it but I read it at work and I don't remember the link. And I don't necessarily want to share it. The article was about the difference between raising a child that you adopted and a child that you gave birth to.
Early in the article there was a quote that made my blood begin to boil. The quote was something like... I will do anything within reason for my adopted child but I will do anything without reason for my biological children.
Now maybe I have a unique view on this. Maybe because I am an adopted child and a parent of an adopted child I don't know the bond a parent will have with a biological child. Maybe I have this all wrong. Maybe I don't know.
What I do know is that my parents -- adoptive and step, but certainly not biological -- would have done anything for me. My extended family -- adoptive -- always considered me family. My biological extended family told me they couldn't have contact with me as an adult because they were afraid I was like my biological mother and they couldn't have that in their lives. Even now as a 40+ year old woman -- my adoptive family is my family. Not my biological family.
What I do know is that my child -- yes, adoptive -- is my child. I would do anything for her. She is my life. My love. My world. I can not imagine loving her more if I had given birth. I can't imagine feeling more connected to her if I had given birth to her. I can't imagine loving another child more than her because I gave birth.
This may be an unpopular view but I believe that if you can not love an adoptive child the same as a biological child -- you should not be given the privilege of being a parent to an adoptive child.
Mean Mama
That would have made my blood boil too! Actually just reading it on here did! Grrrrrrrr some people are just stupid!
ReplyDeleteI do not have any children yet but I totally agree with you! I think people who adopt do have the ability to love their adopted child the same way they love their biological children. I do believe there may be people who do not have the ability to do that, and you are right, those people should not adopt.
ReplyDeleteI came across a blog post recently from a mom who had adopted two children first and then had recently given birth to a biological child. The title of the post was something like, "Yes, it is exactly the same." She talked about how she now knows that she loves all of her children equally and there is no difference between loving her adopted vs. biological children.