Mercy

I recently watched a documentary on youtube.  I was surprised to find a full length film on youtube.  And in the Ethiopian Adoption World it is making an impact.  The movie is Mercy Mercy.  It is a film about a dutch couple who adopts 2 children from Ethiopia.  And it is so much more than that.

It took me some time to process it.  Not that I really have.  But by the time I started processing it, other people had started talking about it.  And that started arguments. Or at least it made me want to argue.

Spoilers are likely below so ...

I was surprised at how quickly adoptive parents jumped on the adoptive parents in the movie.  They were terrible parents. They were clueless.  They should never have children.  And apparently they even received death threats.  Seriously.  Death threats???

You know what I saw when I looked at these adoptive parents?  Me!  Really.  I saw parents who wanted to do the right thing and got really bad advice.  I saw frustration and desperation and dissolution.  They became exhausted and everything they did was wrong and they felt lost.  They loved her but they couldn't understand that maybe love wasn't enough.

You know what I saw when I looked at the daughter?  Ladybug!  Really.  I saw the expressions on her face and thought "I have seen that before."  I have seen every last one of them in the eyes of my own daughter looking back up at me.  Granted -- not in a while.  But once you have a child with attachment looking at you it is burned into your memory and you will never forget it. 

I was not any better than these parents.  I was lucky.  I was ready to let someone take her from me.  But I got lucky.  I got help.  A little at a time.  I didn't make the decision that I couldn't parent her.  But I could have.  I can not judge these parents.  I mean, my heart breaks.  For the parents.  For the child. 

And I haven't even gotten to the biological parents.  All I can say is that I truly hope that Ladybug's parents were not treated that way.  I hope that nobody lied to them or made them promises that they knew they wouldn't keep.

Okay, now that I have painted such a lovely picture of the film, go watch it.

Mean Mama