preknick

I picked Ladybug up from after school one day last week and she asked...

Ladybug: Mama why did you want to adopt me?
Me: (Oh another one of those questions that makes me wonder what she is really asking.  Adopt HER?  Adopt, in general?  Have children?  This is a crap shoot.)  Because I wanted to be a mommy.
Ladybug: And you don't like being preknick? (because she has no ability to say the word pregnant)
Me: No, I never really wanted to be pregnant.
Ladybug: Because it hurts?
Me:  Well I don't know.  Because I have never been pregnant.
Ladybug:  But when you squeeze the baby out does it hurt?
Me: (Sometimes I regret having those honest open conversations about the facts of life).  Well, I imagine it does hurt some.  But women give birth every day so it must not be as bad as I think.

Ladybug: So you didn't want to give birth?
Me: No.  And I also can't get pregnant (sometimes I open my mouth without thinking).
Ladybug: What? (Real concern)
Me: Oh Honey, it's okay.  It's just that my body doesn't work right so I can't get pregnant.
Ladybug: Are you sick?
Me: No.  There is just something inside my body that doesn't work right so I can't get pregnant.  Everything else is fine. (Seriously how do you explain infertility to a 5 year old?)
Ladybug: (After a silence)  Will my body work right?  Will I be broken?
Me: Oh!  It is nothing you need to worry about right now.  Most women can get pregnant.  And when you are old enough I am sure you will have babies (and I am sure she would think there was nothing worse in the world then not being able to have a baby)

So here is what I accomplished that day:
1) My child thinks I am sick/broken.
2) She thinks giving birth hurts.
3) She is afraid that she might end up sick/broken.

Yeah, another good mama day.  NOT!

Mean Mama