Mother and Child

I watched a movie on Netflix last night -- instant play on the computer (with headphones) in an attempt to avoid watching Toy Story 3 for the millionth time.  I have had embarrassingly bad luck with movie choices lately so I did not have a lot of faith in my movie choice this time.

I picked Mother and Child.  I recognized almost every actress in the movie and yet I can not remember the name of any of them at the moment.  All very good actresses.  Oh, and Jimmy Smits was in it.  And I was completely surprised that for the first time ever I did not find him uncontrollably sexy.  But that is besides the point.

The movie follows 3 apparently unconnected women.  A 50 something year old woman who gave birth as a teenager and gave the child up for adoption.  A 30 something year old woman who is an adult adoptee.  And a professional woman who has decided to become a mother through adoption.  All members of the triad are represented.  And I have say that I was impressed.  With the script and the acting.  I think they did an excellent job portraying the how adoption can affect a life. 

I was annoyed with their inability to keep a proper time line.  When the movie opens the potential adoptive mother meets with a potential birth mother.  The birth mother is about 6 months pregnant.  At the beginning of the movie the adoptee meets and starts dating a new guy.  And yet the 2 women end of up giving birth right around the same time.  Really?  I mean, even if one is late and the other is premature we are talking about a huge gestation period issue.  And then at the end of the movie they do a one year gap before they wrap up the movie.  And the show one of the babies that was born.  But that "baby" is a toddler.  Or the biggest, most developed, most advanced 1 year old I have ever seen. 

But what struck me this morning was the adoptee.  I don't want to spoil the movie for anybody who might still want to see it.  But I will say, I woke up thinking, "I wonder if that is what attachment disorder looks like all grown up?"  No lasting relationships.  No ability to connect. No compassion for how your behaviors might affect others.  I don't want that for my girl.  I don't want her to be alone and hard and calculating as an adult. 

And that is why.  That is why we go through this.  Each step.  Painstakingly.  Through every step of the issues. So she has a shot at a normal life as an adult.

Mean Mama