Smile, be happy

Ladybug has a few long term friends.  There is H -- from her first day care.  They met when they were 2.  They hit it off immediately.  And it turned out that H's father's job took him to Ethiopia several times a year.  It was nice for Ladybug.  And I really liked her parents.  Then she has B -- from her third day care.  Quiet.  Shy.  And really liked Ladybug.  I question the parenting of mom (not that it is terrible, just different then what I want for Ladybug).  But I think B is the opposite of Ladybug and a good influence.  And then there is M -- the daughter of my best friend from college.  They love each other.  They hate each other.  Can't wait to see each other and within 2 minutes they are fighting.

Last year I thought she was off to a good start at making friends at school.  P and H and A and C and Z...  Great progress.  But this year she was separated from all -- yes ALL -- of her friends.  I was disappointed.  Because she de-invested (is that a word?).  She figures, why bother if she has to start over every year.  I harp on her to make friends all the time.  She is starting to remember the names of her classmates -- 3 months into the year. 

She is not a popular kid.  Neither was I.  I never cracked that code.  And now I don't care.  But I look back on my life growing up and I know what is in front of her.  And I want to be easier for her.  I don't want her to feel like an outsider.  If I ask who her friends are right now in school she will say nobody.  And that is so sad to me. 

So I decided to look at why.  And I think I know -- because life is so simple that I can figure this out in an evening.  She is negative.  This might be something she got from me.  I am naturally a pessimist.  I remember getting a paper back from my 9th grade teacher that had one note on it: "You are too young to be this pessimistic."  She throws dirty looks.  She crosses her arms and stops her feet.  She huffs.  She puffs.  She gets angry.  She is bossy.  She is unhappy. 

So we are working on being happy.  Because people want to be around other happy people.  They want friends that make them feel good.  And she is 6!  It is all down hill from here.  Be happy now.  Happy!  Smile.  Laugh.  Be nice.  See the good.  Let's see how a naturally pessimistic person can teach a child to be a happy person.

Mean Mama