Most adoptive families want young children. And by young I mean under 12 months. I remember reading a blog some time ago where a woman was waiting for her child (international adoption). The child was under 12 months at the time of referral but because of complications the child was now over 12 months and she was now questioning whether she wanted to bring this child home.
Most adoptive families want girls. I have never heard a reason why most want it. I wanted a girl. I asked for a girl. That was before I understood. People will wait for an infant girl to be born. Wait and leave other children waiting for families. Supply and demand. When you adopt internationally and say you are looking for a girl under 12 months old, some agencies will go "shopping" for you. That is when we run the risk of contributing to human trafficking.
But this week I stumbled on to a facebook page. A friend posted on it. So I visited it. It was obviously someone from Ethiopia. It was obviously someone who had strong feelings. It was obviously somebody who does not believe in international adoption. Essentially they accused Americas of buying Ethiopian children. As a mom who has already faced similar type questions from my daughter, it got my hackles up. This person went further. This person (and I did not dig deep enough to discover if it was a man or a woman) had taken photos they had found on other facebook pages of happy families with children adopted from Ethiopia and published them on their page. Branding them as human traffickers.
I wanted to post on the page -- but I knew it would fall on deaf ears. I did not buy my child. I paid an agency and attorney to facilitate the process. Just as a pregnant woman pays a doctor to facilitate the gestation and birthing process. I did not steal someone's child. She was relinquished (by a terminally ill parent). She was in an orphanage by the time she was referred to me. Me or an orphanage -- which is better. My first question when I got her information was, "Is there nobody in her family who can care for her?"
Every child deserves the right to stay in their biological family. Every child deserves the right to stay in their original country and culture. Sometimes life interferes with those things. Sometimes a child needs a new family. Sometimes that family will mean a new country and/or culture. Just make sure you are not the reason that a child needs this. Pick a child that needs you. Not a child you need.
love your last two sentences...
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