taking control

As a frequent flyer on the "depression" train, I am aware that nothing gets better until I do something different.  I can not just wait it out.  It will not magically get better.  I must do something.  Sometimes it is small.  Sometimes it is a few things.  This time, I am turning my life upside down.  Well, as much as I can without moving and getting a new job.

This is going to be hard for me.  For the most part, I am fairly anti-social.  So that means, I need to become social.  UGH!  It is hard for an introvert to be social. 

Here are the changes I am making:

1. I joined a gym.  Actually it is the YMCA.  I wasn't sure how to afford another $60 out of pocket every month but I need it.  For mind body and soul.  Then I found out that joining the gym reduces Ladybug's afterschool program cost by about $35 per month.  And I just reduced my cable bill by $40 by going in and complaining how expensive it was (I think they were afraid I was going to cancel).  So I start the gym on Monday.  Oh, and here is another beautiful thing -- they have a game room for elementary age kids.  She can be in there for up to 2 hours a day.  For free!!!!  And on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday they have a kid fitness class that she can take.  So while I work out she is having fun and doing healthy things that does not include begging to watch TV.  The goal is to do 1 hour of sweating every day.
2. I have given up drinking anything but water on a regular basis.  Okay, I will give up drinking anything but water on a regular basis starting on Monday.  Really. there is no need for anything but water.  Water does a body good.  Okay, I am willing to add teas (that I brew) to the list since today I was so cold while out and about that I would have killed for a warm mug of tea.
3. The junk food is gone.  No really.  We are finishing it up this week.  And we went shopping today and no new junk entered the house.  I remember a simpler time when I cooked all weekend and then froze the food for easy lunches and dinners.  It was before I had a kid.  But it can be done.  I have a crock pot.  I make a mean spaghetti sauce.  I can cook Ethiopian food.  And frankly, Ladybug needs to learn to like things that are not hotdogs, chocolate or pizza.  My freezer will be stocked with healthy options.  That I can pop in the microwave (or put in a pot to warm up).  This will be really helpful given the fact that I get out of work at 5, pick up Ladybug at 5:30, will be going to the gym to sweat for 1 hour (read above) and then home.  We will need quick and easy dinners if I have any hope of getting her in bed on time.  And we will be eating at the kitchen table every night!  I will be sharing some of my cooking here.
4. I have given up SOME TV.  I love TV.  I really do.  I know it rots my brain.  But I like it.  And I refuse to give it up.  But I did decide to give up my beloved soapnet.  It is an evil thing.  I wasn't sure I could do it on my own.  So I decided to give up the cable package I had that allowed me to have that channel.  I went in and asked them to cut about 1/2 the channels from my cable package.  I think that was about 100 channels or so.  It dropped my $140 per month cable bill by $13.  $13!  How is that possible?  Shouldn't 1/2 the channels cost about 1/2 the price?  I think that is when they thought I was going to drop cable all together.  So the offered me a deal.  I got to keep all my channels but they dropped the price to $99 per month.  That helped financially.  It didn't help with the TV issue.  So here, I had to draw on my own strength.  It has been about 3 weeks and I am happy to report that I have not been on soapnet once.  I can do this!  I am discovery channels like HGTV (okay that is another one of my obsessions but I am not giving it up), discovery, Food network, A&E, and science TV.  Otherwise, I pretty much stick with the basic channels.  And Ladybug got to keep her channels too.  But she will not get any TV during the week.  NONE!  And now that I will be at the gym on the weekends, her TV viewing hours will be cut on the weekends too.
5. I will be getting more sleep.  I HAVE to be out of bed by 8am in order to make it to work on time.  This may not sound early to some but I hate mornings.  I usually go to bed about 11 or 12.  It is usually closer to 12, if I was going to be honest with you.  I remember a time, not too many years ago, that I believed I must be in bed no later than 11pm.  Some how I don't believe that now.  So I have decided on 10pm.  With the working out I am hoping I will be physically tired enough to make it happen.  And frankly, who wouldn't kill for 10 hours of sleep a night?  I have a feeling this will be the hard one for me.
6. I know I haven't addressed the whole "social" aspect of this transformation.  I have no comfort zone with it.  I can not come up with a plan.  I can't seem to make a commitment to making a change.  I will think about it.  And I will have to wait and see what I come up with.

So that is it.  My new life.  New and improved.  Hopefully.

Mean Mama