It's all in your head

When I was a teenager I developed a problem with my stomach. Every once in a while I would get sharp, debilitating pains in my stomach. It would feel like someone was stabbing a knife into my stomach. I would double over in pain. Nobody could figure out what was wrong. They would come. They would go. No idea what caused them.

It was all in my head.

Almost literally. Eventually I understood that my stomach pains was not physical. It was physical but the cause wasn't physical. I got those pains because something was bothering me. Something I didn't want to face. And the pains would come and go until I figured out what the issue was. The pains disappeared once I figured out what the problem was.

Then when I was in college I stopped having stomach pains and instead would develop canker sores in my mouth. During really stressful times I would have multiple ones at a time. During finals one semester I counted 11 separate canker sores in my mouth. Painful. But it was better then what was to come.

I haven't had a canker sore in about a decade. So I moved on to cold sores. Also painful. And oh so attractive. Big, painful, and out there for everyone to see. It has been about 3 years since I have a cold sore.

So what is my body's new way of slapping me across the face and telling me to figure it out? Hives. Fun. For the last couple of years I would randomly break out in hives. Red, itchy, splotchy bumps. On my jaw. On my chin. On my neck. Attractive. NOT! But manageable. Until last night.

Last night I found myself itching. Beyond control. By the time I was practically insane because I could not stop myself of itching, it had spread. I had it from my finger tips to my shoulders. From my chin down my chest. Down my back. My entire torso and arms were completely covered in hives. Completely. Not an inch was not covered in hives. And it was driving me insane. I had no benedryl in the house. And my child was in bed so I could not just pop out of the house. But eventually I remembered that I had some claritin. Not the same but it worked. I took some and went to bed. I work up red but no hive. And I was happy.

But they came back. So I bought some benedryl. No more red. No more bumps. No more splotches. Mostly no itchiness. But while I can feel the hives being suppressed by the drugs I can feel it still. My skin is hot. I looked up hives on the internet today. They said the only part of the body that can not ever break out in hives are soles of the feet or palms of the hands.

I beg to differ. My feet are fine. But I have huge problems with the palms of my hands.

I have not changed shampoos or soap. I have not changed laundry or dish soap. I have not changed lotions or make up. No new medications. No new foods.

I am pretty sure this is all in my head. And my challenge, if I choose to accept it (like I have a choice), will be to figure out why. Is it money? Job? Changing a job? Moving? Child? What?

Why can't life be easy?

Mean Mama