looking through race colored glasses

This past weekend Ladybug was invited to a birthday party. It was a small birthday party. It was not a new friend from kindergarten. It was an old friend from preschool.

I like the friend. I think she is good for Ladybug. They are opposites. B is control, reserved, shy. Ladybug is not. I think they are good for each other.

Ladybug was the only "non-family" person invited to the party. All the other kids were cousins -- or long family friends (several generations of the families being friends) that have been nominated to be a family member. But since Ladybug is not shy -- she fit right in. I was the odd ball -- the only person who was not African American.

Ladybug is not at the point where I just drop her off at a party. I stayed. And socialized with the moms. Well, I tried. But I am not very good as chit chat. At some point Ladybug came running up to me yelling, "Mom!" I responded and she walked away.

The woman standing next to me eventually picked her chin up off the ground and asked me if I was really her mom. Yep. I get it. Ladybug is dark. I am pale. Even B is lighter skinned then Ladybug. How could Ladybug be biracial? Adoption never occurs to her.

Later I was sitting on the deck socializing. B's mom (A) was in the yard talking to the "chin on the ground" lady when I heard her -- because she made no attempt to be discrete -- say to A, "That white woman said she was that little girl's mom." A just responded that I was. She looked up at me. And "chin on the floor" lady continued, "No A, she (pointing to me) said she was her (pointing at Ladybug." A just responded, "Do you think she would lie about something like that?" And A smiled at me and walked away.

Mean Mama