Honeymoon is over

It has been a hard week. Not like they use to be.  But I got use to the calm.  I got use to the love.  I relaxed.

Things had been going well.  There had been a little bit of attitude during vacation but nothing to write home about.  First week back from vacation was good.  No real problems.  Which is actually a huge improvement.  Normally we come home from vacation and it is like re-entering the earth's orbit.  This time it was easy.

But on Tuesday I got the first call from camp.  Which I guess I should be happy about.  Camp started June 13th and the first call was on July 19th.  Not too bad.

Actually I guess I should back up a day ... or two.  On Sunday I unpacked her backpack.  I found a shirt I did not recognize.  I asked her about it.  She said it was hers.  I reminded her that I am her only parent and I buy all her clothes.  It was not hers.  She said a counselor gave it to her.  I called BS.  She insisted.  I told her she had to take it back.  But she brought it home on Monday again.  She said the counselor said she could keep it.  I told her no.

So the first call came on Tuesday.  A very nice counselor.   She said Ladybug had gotten mad at one of her friends and started throwing the boy's things away.  A counselor confronted her and she shut down.  Refused to talk.  She refused to follow instructions.  For about an hour.  Then they stuck her in a younger kid group and called me.

I was immediately concerned.  My child is bullying (and I hate that word) a peer so you put her with younger kids?  I mean, I get it.  She is acting younger so treat her younger.  But she is not a normal child.  So I was worried.  But it worked.  But while I had the counselor on the phone I gave her some concrete hints on how to handle her in those situations.  Eye contact.  Calm voice.  No threats.  Promises.  Follow through.  And let her know if she can't pull it together I will come get her.  Immediately.

The second call came on Wednesday.  Yes!  When it rains, it pours.  She had problems again.  But that is not why the counselor was calling.  The counselor was calling me to tell me that my hints ... my suggestions ... worked.  I know.  I mean I don't want to sound cocky ... but I live with the girl.  But as much as I was glad that it worked for her, I was worried.  Ladybug was testing.  She was going to see how far she could push.

And I was tired.  Work has been HELL.  Lots of work.  Everybody wants a divorce.  Nobody wants to compromise.  Everybody feels justified in their poor behaviors.  Nobody wants to wait for things to settle.  I mean it.  One woman called in a huff saying that if she could not do an initial consult THAT DAY with a promise of a draft THAT DAY then she would go somewhere else.  I encouraged her to do so.  The big boss has something going on that he is not talking about.  He has a ton of doctor appointments lately.  And mini boss...well that would take a novel to explain.  Either way neither is doing much work.  So I am stressed.  And not sleeping.  And Ladybug can feel it.

On Friday the third call came.  I love how each phone call starts with "Ladybug is fine."  And a part of me wishes that were not the case.  Not that I wished she was hurt.  But I also wish she wasn't doing the hurting.  This call required that she be picked up.  With a warning.  If she gets in trouble again, she will be suspended for 3 days.  Perfect!  What would I do with her for 3 days?  I have to work.  I have no family in the area.  I have no friends who can take her.  UGH!  She spent the afternoon sitting on my office floor drawing apology cards while I worked on Friday.

So what was her crime that got her kicked out for the day?  On a dare, she pulled the swimming trunks of a boy down while at the pool.  A friend.  I was horrified.  Really. We talked until she cried.  I tried not to cry.  I mostly succeeded.  I really wanted her to get to the point of her crying.  Not to be cruel.  But to get her past the anger stage and into the feeling stage.

We slept last night.  A lot.  She slept almost 12 hours.  She also took a nap today.  Voluntarily.  And in bed at a decent time.  Fingers and toes are crossed.  Breath is shallow.  Heart rate is raised.  And really hoping this week is a success for her.

Mean Mama