Fresh start

We had a very emotional night. Attitude! Attitude! Attitude! Then she kicked a kid in gymnastics. Took the teacher's remote and hid it. Refused to stay in class. And more attitude.

She refuses to ask. She demands. She refuses to say please. How hard would it be to say, "Mama, can you please change the song?" Instead she opts for, "Change it!"

Apparently I reached my breaking point. I had no more energy to fight it. Or deal with it. So I just shut down. I didn't change the song. I didn't ask her to ask nice. I didn't even respond at all. How have I managed to raise a child that is rude and demanding and mean?

When we got home I sent her to bed. I crawled in bed with her. She was angry (shocker) and crying because I wouldn't let her stay up to watch the dancing. I curled up to her. I told her I was done fighting with her. It wasn't working for me and I needed to stop. I wasn't going to fight. I wasn't going to yell. I was done. I told her I loved her. I told her she was the most important person to me. But all this fighting made me sad. And then like a true emotional wreck, I started crying.

She curled into me. She promised to stop fighting too. And when it was all done I tucked her in bed, turned out the light, and turned on the night light. And by the time I reached the door of her bedroom she was sobbing quietly into her unicorn. So I crawled back in bed with her for a while. I left when I thought she was asleep. There was a part of me that was relieved to hear her crying. True emotional crying. Not whining. Not manipulation. Pure emotion. I mean, I hated that she was sad. But I was glad to get past the anger and get to something else.

About an hour later she came downstairs. She crawled on my lap, wrapped her arms around my neck and put her head on my shoulder. She said, "I thought about it and I want to be happy too. So no more fighting."

Fingers crossed.

Mean Mama -- but hopeful