Going back to Ethiopia

I would love to go back to Ethiopia.  Anybody who knows me might find that statement strange.  When Ladybug was adopted I traveled to Ethiopia.  Only once.  Now parents are required to travel twice.  I spent 1 week there.  I was focused on my child.  I was there to be a mother.  And I think I missed something.  Maybe many somethings.

I flew 17 hours.  I hate to fly.  Seriously hate flying.  Which is why I drive 18 hours to visit my parents.  I don't understand how a big hunk of metal stays in the air.  And turbulence freaks me out.  But I didn't have a choice that time.  I couldn't exactly take a slow boat to Ethiopia.  So I flew.  And survived.  I went during the rainy season.  So I saw lots of mud.  And not the beauty of the country.

And my trip was not good.  I hear all these new adoptive families coming home and talking about the amazing wonderful trips they had.  I didn't have any of that.  I stayed at my agency guesthouse.  Before we went they asked about dietary restrictions.  I told them I don't each fish or seafood.  Which is all they served the first 3 days there.  Seriously, I can't not even pretend to choke down the stuff.  I was starving.  The mattress was about 1/2 thick.  I am not exaggerating.  And I am a spoiled American.  I love my bed.  And then there was the fact that my child was sick.  Ear infection, bronchitis, ring worm, scabies, lactose intolerant...am I missing anything?  And by the time we arrived home she had been kind of enough to share all of it with me -- except the lactose intolerance.  And then there was the grief.  She would sit on my lap and scream "Amaye" for hours.  She would scream if I passed her off to my mother -- so I could shower or pee.  She wanted to go to any Ethiopian male we ran across.  It was an exhausting trip.

So maybe because of it, I want to go back.  I want to experience Ethiopia in a way that I was unable to on the first trip.  Ii want Ladybug to go back.  And enjoy her birth country.  I want her to have some concrete memories -- and not just fantasies.  So I am thinking about it.  Maybe next summer.  If I can figure out how to pay for it.  Here is the option I am considering. 

Mean Mama