Wiser

My monthly new year's resolutions are getting more and more vague with each definition.

How can I measure being wiser?  I don't know.  So maybe just figuring that out will count?

So maybe I make it simple?

Each month I need to learn something new.  I need to do a little research.  Expand my horizons.  And share it here.

I wonder what will count?

Stay turned... first update is in just a few days.  It will be a surprise to all of us.

Mean Mama

Upping the dose

Bout 2 weeks ago I got a call from the school.  It had not been long enough since I had stopped receiving phone calls from the school that it sent panic through me.  And my panic was warranted.  It wasn't anything really bad but someone from student support wanted me to know that Ladybug was having a rough day.

Oh crap!

I knew we were at the beginning of a downward spiral.  For the most part she was holding it together.  At school.  But home was getting rough.  Attitude!  Angry.  Defiant. 

But I already had a med check-up scheduled so I just held my breath and hoped we made it to the check-up before one of us had a melt down.  It was going to be close.

Monday we had the med check-up.  I had already decided I was going to ask for an increase in her dose.  The med worked for a couple of weeks.  Maybe now her body had just gotten use to it and was no longer at a therapeutic level?  Hopefully.

He was not convinced.  He stated the med does not alter her mood.  Says who?  Either way, I was not backing down.  I want those meds!  He allowed me to increase her meds. 

And 48 hours later my sweet, loving, nice girl is back.  I increase it a little more tomorrow.  She is going from .5 mg twice a day to 1 mg twice a day.  It is not a ton.  But hoping it is enough.

Keep your fingers crossed for me.

Mean Mama

Healthier

Back to the new year's resolution...

Determining the "healthier" part of this is hard then the "wealthier" part. I also don't want to determine healthy as just weight loss.  So after some thought I have decided to create a list of things that could mean I am doing things in a healthier way.

1. Weight loss for me and no weight gain for Ladybug.
2.  Taking all required medications and supplements.  Her list is small... my list is currently a little ridiculous.
3.  Getting some regular exercise.
4.  Drink more water.  Drink less of anything else.
5.  Eat more whole foods and less processed foods.
6.  Go to the doctors.  Ladybug still needs to do her sleep study and go to a dentist.  I need a general doctor, dentist, and eye doctor.
7.  Get sufficient sleep.
8.  Floss regularly.

I guess that about covers it.  If I can do these things then I think we are on our way to healthier lives.

Mean Mama

Ready...Set...Launch

I finally did it.  I finally bought my own Planetbox.

I love this thing.  This morning I packed my first lunch in it.

Meatloaf, mashed potatoes, baby carrots with ranch dressing, and grapes.

With the lids on the dipper and glass dish so nothing spills.

Closed up and with pretty magnets.

In the carry bag ready to go.

This is the coolest lunch bag ever.  Even one of my co-worker said he had "lunchbox envy" after seeing this.

Mean Mama

Wealthier

If you remember back just a few posts you will know that I have a new year's resolution.  And I need to figure out how I am going to measure those 4 categories.  I have figured out the "wealthier" category already. 

Someone posted this on their facebook page and I immediately thought it would be interesting to try this.



It looks simple enough.  Well, the weeks later in the year will be difficult but it is worth a try.  And I might actually try to put in more at the beginning of the year so that later in the year will be easier.  Wouldn't it be great to have that in a savings account at the end of the year??

I have also decided to do this for Ladybug -- in a modified version.  Instead of starting at $1, I am starting with $.10 for her.  So at the end of the year I should have $137.80 saved up for her.  But on top of that I am going to attempt to pay back all the money I took from her savings account when we moved last year.  She had just over $500 in her account at that time.  Plus she will have $100 from my grandfather for her birthday last year and by the end of the year another $100 from him (if he is still alive by the end of the year).  So with any luck she should have about $850 in her savings account by the end of the year.

If I can lower my debt or at least not add to it and save all of that then by the end of the year I will definitely be wealthier in a measurable way.

Mean Mama

I can feel it

It is creeping in.  It keeps coming.  I can see the signs.  I can feel it getting closer and closer.  And yet I feel incapable to stop it.

What is looming?  What is coming?  What seems inevitable?

Depression.

I have been denying it.  I mean I moved 9 months ago.  I have a job.  I have money.  I am getting things done.  I am making friends.  I am seeing family. 

But the darkness is taking over.  The desire to not move has descended.  The shrug and turning my back on what needs to be done has started.  The avoidance is rampant -- in case you haven't noticed that I am pretty much not blogging.

There are options...

I could get into counseling... oh wait, I already am in counseling.
I could get more sleep... but I already am.  Maybe I am getting too much?
I could get organized.  Trying.
I could eat better.  Trying.
I could drink... now that is something I haven't tried yet.

Please make the depression go away.  It is not welcomed here.  We are not friends.  It is not an obstacle I have any desire to deal with again.

Mean Mama

Guanfacine

I have resisted for 6 years the idea of Ladybug going on medication.  This can be handled without medication.  It can.

But after 6 years I was beginning to break my resolve.  Maybe meds would work?  Maybe. 

Then I tried her on caffeine.  And by caffeine I mean... Mountain Dew.   A glass in the morning before school.  A glass at lunch.  And what happened?  Teachers started calling me... to tell me what a great job she was doing in school.  She was nice.  And sweet.  So I started thinking about meds.

I talked to her pediatrician.  Adderall.  Ritalin.  I am okay.  But the doctor had another idea.  He wanted to start her on a non-stimulant.  But caffeine is a stimulant.  Right?  Why a non-stimulant.  And it is working.

But he had 2 good arguments -- like any good doctor would.  First, stimulants (even when given in the mornings) can disrupt sleep patterns.  We all know she doesn't sleep.  Ever.  And I had notice her sleep was worse after she started taking caffeine.  Second, kids who are reactive can become more reactive on a stimulant.  Oh no!  She could be worse on caffeine??  This is not good.

So I started her on Guanfacine. 

Good at school.  Good at home.  Sweet.  Nice.  Loving. 

Why did I wait so long to drug this girl?

Mean Mama

winter driving

I was recently asked if I was one of "those" drivers.  You know, the ones that have no clue how to drive when there is snow on the ground.  A year ago I would have laughed and walked away.  I know how to drive in the snow.  I lived in a northern area most of my life.

Now I am willing to believe I am one of "those" drivers.

Ladybug spent a couple of days with my parents skiing right after Christmas.  I went to pick her up and travel to my grandmother's for her birthday.  About half way to get her it started snowing.  But I ain't gonna worry.  I have snow tires.  Studded snow tires.  I can make it.

I drove up the mountain.  Or more accurately, I crawled up the mountain.  Because studded snow tires do not change the fact that I have front wheel drive.

But the fun was yet to begin.

I left with Ladybug.  Still snowing.  Her watching movies.  Me trying to remember that slamming on the brakes is not good winter driving.  Following the GPS without question.

That is when I started to slide.  On a back road.  And there was nothing I could do.  I slid off the road, into a ditch, and slammed into the snow bank.  Burying a good portion of my front end of the car.  And I immediately looked in my side view mirror.  Because I knew there was a car following me.  An Audi. 

I watched it start to slide.  The back end slid to side.  It was headed right toward me.  And there was nothing I could do.  I closed my eyes, put my head in my hands and waited for impact. 

But it didn't happen.  I opened my eyes and looked up.  The car was in front of me.  It had slid by me. 

But now I was in a snow bank.

Family to the rescue.  I called.  They came.  Two teenagers, 1 20-something, my dad, my step-mom, and her brother.  Dig and push.

Only to discover I now have a dead battery. 

Luckily my father knows how to do a rolling start.  Luckily I was on a hill.  Luckily my father was willing to drive my car back up the mountain.  In first gear.  Slowly.  I mean seriously, there was a man jogging up the hill faster then we were driving up it.

We stayed the night.  And tried again the next day.

Mean Mama

New Year Resolution

Because last year's resolutions were so successful...

Wait...

I was laughing so hard I couldn't type.  Let me try again.

Because last year's resolution were a big bust... I have decided to try something a little different this year.  Although I am not sure making any goals for the year is wise.

So my goal is simple... well kind of.

I want to be happier, healthier, wealthier, and wiser at the end of 2013 than at the beginning of 2013.

I have not yet decided how to measure those things yet.  Guess I have a year to figure that out.

Mean Mama

Last one

1.  Loose 55 pounds by December 31, 2012.  Let's just say this was a major failure.

2.  Begin writing a book.  I have a fiction and non-fiction option.  Giving myself 2 years to complete it.  Another failure.

3.  In November I needed to get 8 hours of sleep at least four nights a week. Each month after I must add one more night per week. On a role ... another failure.

4.  Blog at least 12 times per month.  Obvious fail.

5.  Finish unpacking and putting together rooms in the house.  One room a month.  Problem is I have more rooms than months this year.  October (and November and December) is the living room.   Okay not a complete failure but not done. All curtains are up.  I bought a great rug.  But now I feel like I need a new futon cover.  And I have some photos that need to be hung still.  So I will not be posting photos today.

6.  Start a 529 account.  Done.

7.  Start a savings account. No success here.

8.  Eat out no more then 2 times per month.  I think it is important to keep this one from last year.  Done!  Surprisingly easy this month.

9.  Reinstall Photoshop and start editing photos again.  Nope. 

10. Pay all bills on time. Fail.

11. Make at least 1 pair of earrings each week.  I made a ton of earrings this month.  Xmas gifts.  But I didn't take photos of them.

12.  Adding a new goal this month... Ladybug will sleep in her own bed.  Please!  Ha!  But now that it is getting colder, I might want to delay this goal... until May.

I am so glad this is over.  I will not be doing this again.  Something different.  Not nearly so detailed.  And not nearly such a set up for me to be a failure.

Mean Mama