Ready...Set...Launch

I finally did it.  I finally bought my own Planetbox.

I love this thing.  This morning I packed my first lunch in it.

Meatloaf, mashed potatoes, baby carrots with ranch dressing, and grapes.

With the lids on the dipper and glass dish so nothing spills.

Closed up and with pretty magnets.

In the carry bag ready to go.

This is the coolest lunch bag ever.  Even one of my co-worker said he had "lunchbox envy" after seeing this.

Mean Mama

Wealthier

If you remember back just a few posts you will know that I have a new year's resolution.  And I need to figure out how I am going to measure those 4 categories.  I have figured out the "wealthier" category already. 

Someone posted this on their facebook page and I immediately thought it would be interesting to try this.



It looks simple enough.  Well, the weeks later in the year will be difficult but it is worth a try.  And I might actually try to put in more at the beginning of the year so that later in the year will be easier.  Wouldn't it be great to have that in a savings account at the end of the year??

I have also decided to do this for Ladybug -- in a modified version.  Instead of starting at $1, I am starting with $.10 for her.  So at the end of the year I should have $137.80 saved up for her.  But on top of that I am going to attempt to pay back all the money I took from her savings account when we moved last year.  She had just over $500 in her account at that time.  Plus she will have $100 from my grandfather for her birthday last year and by the end of the year another $100 from him (if he is still alive by the end of the year).  So with any luck she should have about $850 in her savings account by the end of the year.

If I can lower my debt or at least not add to it and save all of that then by the end of the year I will definitely be wealthier in a measurable way.

Mean Mama

I can feel it

It is creeping in.  It keeps coming.  I can see the signs.  I can feel it getting closer and closer.  And yet I feel incapable to stop it.

What is looming?  What is coming?  What seems inevitable?

Depression.

I have been denying it.  I mean I moved 9 months ago.  I have a job.  I have money.  I am getting things done.  I am making friends.  I am seeing family. 

But the darkness is taking over.  The desire to not move has descended.  The shrug and turning my back on what needs to be done has started.  The avoidance is rampant -- in case you haven't noticed that I am pretty much not blogging.

There are options...

I could get into counseling... oh wait, I already am in counseling.
I could get more sleep... but I already am.  Maybe I am getting too much?
I could get organized.  Trying.
I could eat better.  Trying.
I could drink... now that is something I haven't tried yet.

Please make the depression go away.  It is not welcomed here.  We are not friends.  It is not an obstacle I have any desire to deal with again.

Mean Mama

Guanfacine

I have resisted for 6 years the idea of Ladybug going on medication.  This can be handled without medication.  It can.

But after 6 years I was beginning to break my resolve.  Maybe meds would work?  Maybe. 

Then I tried her on caffeine.  And by caffeine I mean... Mountain Dew.   A glass in the morning before school.  A glass at lunch.  And what happened?  Teachers started calling me... to tell me what a great job she was doing in school.  She was nice.  And sweet.  So I started thinking about meds.

I talked to her pediatrician.  Adderall.  Ritalin.  I am okay.  But the doctor had another idea.  He wanted to start her on a non-stimulant.  But caffeine is a stimulant.  Right?  Why a non-stimulant.  And it is working.

But he had 2 good arguments -- like any good doctor would.  First, stimulants (even when given in the mornings) can disrupt sleep patterns.  We all know she doesn't sleep.  Ever.  And I had notice her sleep was worse after she started taking caffeine.  Second, kids who are reactive can become more reactive on a stimulant.  Oh no!  She could be worse on caffeine??  This is not good.

So I started her on Guanfacine. 

Good at school.  Good at home.  Sweet.  Nice.  Loving. 

Why did I wait so long to drug this girl?

Mean Mama

winter driving

I was recently asked if I was one of "those" drivers.  You know, the ones that have no clue how to drive when there is snow on the ground.  A year ago I would have laughed and walked away.  I know how to drive in the snow.  I lived in a northern area most of my life.

Now I am willing to believe I am one of "those" drivers.

Ladybug spent a couple of days with my parents skiing right after Christmas.  I went to pick her up and travel to my grandmother's for her birthday.  About half way to get her it started snowing.  But I ain't gonna worry.  I have snow tires.  Studded snow tires.  I can make it.

I drove up the mountain.  Or more accurately, I crawled up the mountain.  Because studded snow tires do not change the fact that I have front wheel drive.

But the fun was yet to begin.

I left with Ladybug.  Still snowing.  Her watching movies.  Me trying to remember that slamming on the brakes is not good winter driving.  Following the GPS without question.

That is when I started to slide.  On a back road.  And there was nothing I could do.  I slid off the road, into a ditch, and slammed into the snow bank.  Burying a good portion of my front end of the car.  And I immediately looked in my side view mirror.  Because I knew there was a car following me.  An Audi. 

I watched it start to slide.  The back end slid to side.  It was headed right toward me.  And there was nothing I could do.  I closed my eyes, put my head in my hands and waited for impact. 

But it didn't happen.  I opened my eyes and looked up.  The car was in front of me.  It had slid by me. 

But now I was in a snow bank.

Family to the rescue.  I called.  They came.  Two teenagers, 1 20-something, my dad, my step-mom, and her brother.  Dig and push.

Only to discover I now have a dead battery. 

Luckily my father knows how to do a rolling start.  Luckily I was on a hill.  Luckily my father was willing to drive my car back up the mountain.  In first gear.  Slowly.  I mean seriously, there was a man jogging up the hill faster then we were driving up it.

We stayed the night.  And tried again the next day.

Mean Mama

New Year Resolution

Because last year's resolutions were so successful...

Wait...

I was laughing so hard I couldn't type.  Let me try again.

Because last year's resolution were a big bust... I have decided to try something a little different this year.  Although I am not sure making any goals for the year is wise.

So my goal is simple... well kind of.

I want to be happier, healthier, wealthier, and wiser at the end of 2013 than at the beginning of 2013.

I have not yet decided how to measure those things yet.  Guess I have a year to figure that out.

Mean Mama

Last one

1.  Loose 55 pounds by December 31, 2012.  Let's just say this was a major failure.

2.  Begin writing a book.  I have a fiction and non-fiction option.  Giving myself 2 years to complete it.  Another failure.

3.  In November I needed to get 8 hours of sleep at least four nights a week. Each month after I must add one more night per week. On a role ... another failure.

4.  Blog at least 12 times per month.  Obvious fail.

5.  Finish unpacking and putting together rooms in the house.  One room a month.  Problem is I have more rooms than months this year.  October (and November and December) is the living room.   Okay not a complete failure but not done. All curtains are up.  I bought a great rug.  But now I feel like I need a new futon cover.  And I have some photos that need to be hung still.  So I will not be posting photos today.

6.  Start a 529 account.  Done.

7.  Start a savings account. No success here.

8.  Eat out no more then 2 times per month.  I think it is important to keep this one from last year.  Done!  Surprisingly easy this month.

9.  Reinstall Photoshop and start editing photos again.  Nope. 

10. Pay all bills on time. Fail.

11. Make at least 1 pair of earrings each week.  I made a ton of earrings this month.  Xmas gifts.  But I didn't take photos of them.

12.  Adding a new goal this month... Ladybug will sleep in her own bed.  Please!  Ha!  But now that it is getting colder, I might want to delay this goal... until May.

I am so glad this is over.  I will not be doing this again.  Something different.  Not nearly so detailed.  And not nearly such a set up for me to be a failure.

Mean Mama

Winter wonderland

Winter!  In the north!  Is beautiful!

But of course that is not my experience with winter.

It snowed.  I knew it was coming.  I was so sure we would have a snow day at work that I didn't bother going to bed on time last night.  So I woke up tired and disappointed.  But I got up and took Ladybug to daycare and went to work.  I was impressed at how clear the roads were.  But after I dropped Ladybug off and was heading to work it started snowing again.

My parents were suppose to pick up Ladybug today and take her skiing for a few days.  They were suppose to pick her up at 11am.  But my father decided that they should do the driving (because they live about 3.5 hours from here) in the afternoon and not the morning.  So they promised to pick her up before dinner.  Only a minor meltdown from Ladybug because of that news.

At about 11am (the time she wanted to be picked up) I got a call from the daycare saying they were closing early.  Fun times!  Now I have to pick her up.  This is going to go over well.

Her daycare is 6.5 miles from my office.  And it took just over 1/2 hour to drive there.  Very slow driving.  And at least another 1/2 hour to drive the 6 miles back to my house.

And then the adventure began.  I drove down the street to my house to discover that the plows had created a wall of snow at the entrance to my driveway.  I could not get up the driveway.  So I drove down the street.  I turned around in a driveway that was plowed out and turned around.  I drove back to my driveway -- apparently hoping that something had changed in the past 3 seconds.  It hadn't.

I drove up the street and turned around at a cross street.  I drove back down to my house.  Nope, still no change.  I turned around in another driveway that had been plowed.  I stopped at my house.  Do I park on the street?  Knowing that they are still plowing?  Nope.  So I decided to go around the block and see if I could park in the driveway of one of Ladybug's friends. 

The car parked, we walked home.  I put Ladybug inside and then went out to shovel the driveway.  I shoveled the wet, packed, snow/ice at the end of the driveway.  I made a hole big enough to fit my car.  Then I took 3 steps up the driveway and I stopped.

I heard a noise.  I knew that noise.  It wasn't really possible.  Was it?  I turned around.  And I waited.  In about 10 seconds the plow truck came by and plowed in the driveway again.  No joke.  So I shoveled again.

I love winter.

Mean Mama

I suck

I can admit it.  I suck.  At blogging. 

It is not like there is not enough to talk about.  There is a ton. 

Holidays.
Work.
Family.
News.
Opinions.

Oh the list can go on.  And yet I find myself silent.  Well not silent.  I talk.  A lot.  But my fingers ares.  It is so hard to put thought on blog these days.  I am not sure when that might end.

The major news -- well for me --includes:

Ladybug has been officially diagnosed with RAD.  Not really shocking.  But disappointing.  Heart breaking.  And in some ways -- relieving.

Ladybug starts taking meds this Friday.  After much debate I agreed to Guanfacine.  While I waited for the pediatrician and therapist to talk I experimented on my own.  Caffeine.  Mountain Dew for breakfast.  And more caffeine for lunch.  On days she had it -- school was wonderful.  On days she didn't -- not so much.  Today she punched a kid in the gut this afternoon.  Guess what she didn't have for lunch...

Doing my homework to prepare for Ladybug's sleep study.  Because she never sleeps.  Because I never sleep.  And because all the caffeine is making it worse.

Ladybug wants glasses.  So much so she fake the eye test -- at the doctor's office and school -- and failed.  She has an appointment with an optometrist in the beginning of the year.  I am willing to get her fashion glasses if she passes the eye test.

I had to cancel her dentist appointment.  Because I apparently picked a dentist who is a racist, classist wench.  So I need to find a new one for her.  I fear we have a lot of visits in our near future.

I have not even begun to look for a doctor for myself.  As a result it has been over 4 months since I have had my medication -- for my thyroid.  And it is exhausting me.  I need to do this.

And on that note... it is bedtime.

Mean Mama

November update

1.  Loose 55 pounds by December 31, 2012.  I refuse to step on a scale because I am sure it is not good news.

2.  Begin writing a book.  I have a fiction and non-fiction option.  Giving myself 2 years to complete it.  Did nothing.

3.  In November I needed to get 8 hours of sleep at least four nights a week. Each month after I must add one more night per week. Actually I think I accomplished this.

4.  Blog at least 12 times per month.  Done.

5.  Finish unpacking and putting together rooms in the house.  One room a month.  Problem is I have more rooms than months this year.  October is the living room.   Not exactly done.  But I tried.  I bought curtains -- 6 windows.  I put up curtains.  I took down curtain.  I put plastic on windows.  I tried to put curtain back up.  Wouldn't work.  Bought new curtain rods.  Put curtains back up.  Now I have decided that I need a new rug.  And a new futon cover.  So, since I am not done I am not posting photos.  Maybe by the end of the year.

6.  Start a 529 account.  Done.

7.  Start a savings account. No success here.

8.  Eat out no more then 2 times per month.  I think it is important to keep this one from last year.  Done!  Surprisingly easy this month.

9.  Reinstall Photoshop and start editing photos again.  Nope. 

10. Pay all bills on time. Done.

11. Make at least 1 pair of earrings each week.  Nope. No new excuse.

12.  Adding a new goal this month... Ladybug will sleep in her own bed.  Please!  Ha!  But now that it is getting colder, I might want to delay this goal... until May.

Mean Mama