internet addiction

I think it is important for me to state that I have an internet addiction.

I have denied it. Because I see addiction as a weakness.  I don't want to be addicted to anything.  And yet at the same time I have always feared that I have an addicted personality. 

Today I decided to clean my study.  I can not say that I cleaned it.  But I started.  There is just a ton more to do still.  But in the middle of it I decided to move my wireless router about 2 inches on my desk.  I moved it.  I did not unplug it.  I just shifted it.  And yet my internet was gone.

Gone!

I tried unplugging it.  I turned it off.  I hooked the internet directly into my computer (not wireless).

That worked. That means it was not my internet that was the problem.  The problem had to be the wireless router.  I had that paperwork somewhere.  I think.  But it is on the floor of my study.  In a huge pile. 

I tried Ladybug's computer.  No wireless.  It is not the computer.  It is the router.

I feel my blood pressure going up.  I feel my agitation going up.  I feel my patient going down.  I start panicking about all those things I can't get to (and likely wouldn't even if I had internet).

I want my internet!

But I go shopping instead.  Not a great trip.  I am cranky.  And worried.  Because I don't have my internet?

Yep it is an addiction.

Luckily when I got home from grocery shopping I tried a few things.  I pushed a few buttons.  Because the pile of crap on the floor can wait.  The internet can not.

Whatever I pushed worked.  It came back.  And I am happy.

I have my drug.

Mean Mama