When did I get a teenager

Ladybug turned 6 last month.  6!  And yet I am pretty sure I have a teenager.  I like teenagers.  Just not a teenager who is 6.

She is negative about everything.  I am clear what she hates.  In one word -- everything.

She hates having her hair done. 
She hates cornrows. 
She hates puffs.
She hates the idea of getting her hair cut shorter. 
She hates everything I cook. 
She hates school. 
She hates the Y. 
She hates her car seat. 
She hates helping with chores. 
She hates going to bed. 
She hates running errands. 
She hates playing in her room. 
She hates cleaning her room. 
She hates brushing her teeth.

She whines and groans about everything.  And it is driving me nuts.  I don't know what to do. 

We got released early from school today because of weather (although I am still waiting for any sign of bad weather).  I told her we needed to go to the store to pick up tomatoes (I forgot them yesterday).  That got a....

Aaaawwwww Mom!  I don't like tomatoes.

I am aware.  Suck it up.  But I didn't say that.  I said we could pick up a few things needed to bake cookies since we were spending the afternoon at home.  That got a....

Aaaaawwww Mom!  I don't want to bake cookies.  I want to go to Elizabeth's house.

Keep up the attitude and you won't be going anywhere.  I didn't say that either.  I told her we could walk to Elizabeth's house and check but we should buy the cookie things just in case.  That got a...

Elizabeth said it was fine.  I don't want to bake cookies.  I hate baking cookies.  I am going to Elizabeth's.

But I bought the cookie stuff anyway.  After I told her I was sick of hearing all the things she "hated" and told her she needed to find a way of people more positive.

It turned out that Elizabeth's mom was not home so Ladybug could not go over to play.  We made attempt number 1 at making cookies.  She was all attitude.  She whined.  She wouldn't listen.  So after about 8 minutes I lost it and sent her to her room.  I am not the most positive person but her negativity is really getting to me. 

I let her stew in her room for nearly an hour.  She didn't stew long.  She slept.  I woke her up and asked her to make another attempt at making cookies.  Attempt number 2 lasted about 6 minutes.  I really lost it this time.  I was just done.  I sent her to her room, told her to get in her pjs, and go to bed.  She was done.  For the night.  She stomped upstairs, picked up her music box, and threw it across the room.  I ran upstairs and yelled.  If she can't respect her things then I will gladly get rid of everything.  She doesn't have to have toys or pretty things. 

I stomped downstairs to cool off.  And once cool I remembered...she can't go to bed.  She desperately needs a bath.  She stiiiiiinks.  And she needs to be moisturized.  She is looking more gray then brown these days.  So a dragged her out of bed, and set up her bath.  I read while she bathed.  And then I decided I had to do more hair work.  She has 1/2 style.  She has a big puff.  Which will get tangled.  And she hates having her hair brushed (did I mention that above?).  So I did hair for an hour.  I was gentle.  I was kind.  And she whined only a little.  But she did not get a movie.

The negativity needs to end.  I just don't know how to make a 6 year do that.

Mean Mama

getting a fitting

One of my Christmas presents from my parents was a gift certificate to Lane Bryant.  Lane Bryant is a fat girl's dream.  It is not cheap but it is good.  I can always find stuff I like in there.  But my main reason I go to Lane Bryant is for bras.  I love their bras. 

My initial plan for the gift  certificate when I asked for it was to buy some new clothes.  But right before Christmas I broke all my existing bras.  All.  In one week.  Underwire after underwire snapped.  I don't know how I break all my bras in one week.  But it would have to wait. 

Since I was running errands today I decided to stop by Lane today and pick up a few.  I was hoping that maybe I would go down 1 cup size.  I have lost 25 pounds -- there is a reasonable hope that maybe I need a smaller bra.  I have been wearing a 44DDD.  Yikes!  I try not to admit that.  I was hoping to get down to a 44DD today. 

As I walked into the store today I was extra happy.  They were having a sale: Buy 2 get 2 free.  Oh happy day!  4 bras for the price of 2 -- and to top it all off, I have a gift certificate.  So technically I am getting 4 free bras.  Happy day!

But for some reason I must have looked a little lost.  I went in the store and straight to the bra section.  I immediately started looking for my size.  In the style I like.  But a sales person approached me and asked if she could help.  I tried to politely brush her off but she wanted to help.  So I decided to let her.  She asked if I knew my size.  Doesn't every woman know her size.  I didn't tell her I wanted to buy small.  She asked the last time I had a fitting.  Forever.  So she insisted on a fitting.  Great -- let's just measure my fat.  But I let her.

When she finished she announced my size...42F or maybe 42G.  WHAT?????  I was trying to go smaller then DDD and I am bigger.  Are you kidding me?  G??  They make bras in that size?

She set me up in a dressing room and brought in a slew of bras all 42 and some F and some G.  I tried the first one.  No way.  No how.  42 was just not going to work.  Oh, I got it hooked.  But I think I actually had to use a crow bar to then work it into the correct position.  I needed a 44.  So all the 42 disappeared and in came the 44s.  44F and 44G.  Great!  44F just didn't fit right.  And 44G required me to have breast implants to fill out.  Since that is not going to be happening I was feeling discouraged.

Then I suggested that I didn't like that style.  I asked that we try my style.  The one I have been wearing for years and always like.  More bras.  More problems.  Finally we dropped it down to 44DDD in my style and ....perfect fit.  I walked in saying I was a 44DDD and that I knew my style.  I walked out an hour later with exactly what I knew I needed.

But I still got 4 free bras so all is good.

Mean Mama

It should be illegal

It should be illegal.  Really.  I mean do I need to be encouraged to eat?  No.  I need to be encouraged not to eat.  They are not allowed to do cigarette commercials.  Why?  Because they are not good for you. 

It is not broccoli or carrots or apples that have commercials.  No.  We are not encouraged to eat those. 

We are a society of overweight people.  I think it is something like 60% of Americans that are overweight (don't quote me on that.  that is just a fuzzy memory).  And what immediately follows the food commercials?  A weight loss product or exercise equipment commercial.  Eat.  And since you are now fat -- Exercise and diet.  What is wrong with this society?

I am watching a ridiculous Hallmark TV show (about giant pumpkins, no less) and these are just some of the commercials I have been faced with:

Hersey's Bliss chocolates
Long John Silvers
Hardees
Lean Cuisine (combing both food and diet)
DiGiorno Pizza
Pringles
Breyer's ice cream
Pizza Hut (stuffed crust pizza)
Yoplait splitz
Lucky Charms
Trix


Food commercials should be illegal.  And I say that through the starvation haze of my diet.  I will make one exception.  Seafood commercials can continue -- I hate seafood so those commercials are not tempting for me.

Please help me with my diet by banning food commercials.

Mean Mama

PS - down 3.8 pounds and 121 to go.  So glad to be on the right track now.

rude awakening

Last night as I put Ladybug in bed I asked her if it was seven remotely possible that maybe, just maybe, she could sleep all night in her bed.  She said no. 

I have to appreciate the honesty at least. 

But I told her I wanted her to stay in her own bed.  This is the girl who didn't want to sleep any where near me while I was on vacation but she won't stay out of my bed now that we are home.

She quietly crawled in bed with me late last night.  I don't remember it.  I didn't wake up for it.  I did wake up when she crawled out of my bed.  I sighed and rolled over...onto her pee.

Have I mentioned I am so over bodily fluids?

She peed in my bed.  And I rolled in it.  And she just walked out of the room.  She wasn't going to tell me.  Does she think I wouldn't notice?

I was too tired to deal with it so I stripped out of the wet pjs and went to her bed to get some more sleep.  But she refused to sleep.  She tossed.  She turned.  She sang.  She talked.  I cried.

Mean Mama
P.S.  The good news is that I did not gain any weight on the morning after my first day of starvation.  The bad news is that I lost nothing.  NOTHING!  Not even an ounce.  Today better be better.

paranoia

Sometimes I trip over myself.  I can't help it.  I get in my own way.

As I was preparing for vacation a few weeks ago I got the overwhelming feeling that while I was away my house would be broken into.  I was sure of it.  And this worried me.  It is not like I have a lot of expensive things.  Actually I am pretty sure that I have no expensive things.  My paranoia was fueled by my decision not to take my computer on vacation.  There was really no need to take it.  Nobody I was visiting with had wireless internet.  But I can't afford to replace my computer.

And then I made the decision to not take my rings either.  I am not a big jewelry person.  But I have 4 rings that I love.  Two of the rings are ones that I bought.  Both are tanzanite.  I love tanzanite.  I wear them on my left hand.  The other 2 rings carry more of a sentimental value.  They were rings that I inherited from my Grandmother when she died in 2004.  One is a garnet and the other is a series of sapphires.  I have no idea if they have any real value.  But I hope to pass them along to my Ladybug at some point. 

So the rings were not going on vacation.  So I decided to hide them.  I put them in a safe place and ignored the pit in my stomach.

As I was approaching home the other day, my paranoia resurfaced.  I was sure I would discover that my place had been robbed.  But when I got home -- everything was as I had left it.  My computer sat on my table.  I would not need to replace it.

I was gone for 10 days.  And during those 10 days I completely and totally forgot where I hit my rings.  Not in the jewelry box -- too obvious.  Not in the medicine cabinet.  Not in the desk drawer.  Not in the suitcases.  Not in my dresser.  I looked and looked and looked.  Yep, my paranoia made me misplace my rings.  I looked every day.  They were nowhere.  I had no idea where to even think about looking next. 

Then this morning I went digging through my purse to find something else and pulled out all 4 rings.  Who would have thunk it?  I hid them in the purse... to avoid taking them on vacation ... but I then took my purse on vacation.

Silly me.

Mean Mama

Just the stats

Monday morning I started my gorge days.  Before starting I weighed 273.

This morning I ended my gorge days.  I now weigh 274.8.

Let the dieting begin!

I have 21 days of dieting.  Looking forward to January 26th.  And this time I plan on drinking lots and lots and lots of water.

Wish me luck.

Mean Mama

P.S. 124.8 to go.  Hoping for 20 this round.

sleeping arrangements

Let me explain the sleeping arrangements over the holidays.  First you must know the house.

I was at my grandmother's house.  In the mountains.  She has a 2 bedroom, 1 bathroom house.  She also has a finished basement.  There is a double bed in my grandmother's bedroom.  A double bed in the guest bedroom.  A double bed in the basement.  And a pull out sofa in the basement.  She needed to house herself, my sister, my niece, my mother, my daughter, and myself.  Completely do-able.  Right?

My grandmother stayed in her bed.  She is 85.  It is her house.  She deserved it. 

My sister and niece stayed on the pull out sofa in the basement.  They share a bed at home so it made sense that they share a bed on vacation.

My mom slept on the sofa in the living room.  The sofa?  Not a pull out.  Wait... why not a bed?

Ladybug and I slept in my grandmother's bedroom ... on the floor.  Wait ... why not a bed?

If I counted right that means that there are 2 empty double beds in the house.  So why didn't we get those beds?  Well the bed in the guest bedroom was apparently bought by my aunt.  It is her bed.  And nobody else is allowed to sleep in it.  The bed in the basement (which by the way was fabulous -- I laid down on it for a few minutes) is reserved for my cousin, his wife, and their children (family bed). 

I have no problem with this in theory.  I mean, I can sleep on the floor for a night.  But why should I have to when there are empty beds?

I am getting to old for this stuff.

Mean Mama

Gorging...again

I was told last night that my gorging list on my previous post really wasn't all that impressive.  I know it doesn't seem like it.  But my belly was yelling at me.  Today was day 2 (and the last) for gorging.

Let's see if today was better...

bacon, egg and cheese on a croissant (x2)
vanilla chai latte
chocolate (lots)
corn
mashed potatoes with gravy
country fried chicken
chex mix
fried cheese (x12)
french bread pepperoni pizza (x2)
pint of ben and jerry's

How is that for ya?

Anybody available to roll me up the stairs so I can go to bed?

Mean Mama

diet update

I have been neglectful in my diet update.  But there was no real good news to tell.  So let me tell the bad news.

The last time I talked about the diet I had decided to do a quick round an drop a few before Christmas.

Really???  What kind of idiot am I?

After Thanksgiving I had my sister's birthday, 2 brother's birthdays, Ladybug's birthday, my birthday, 2 Christmas parties, and stress.  Why would I assume I could ever stick to a diet during that?

To be honest I did drop a few pounds -- before I gave up.  I got down to 268.  And then I gave up.  Just gave up.  I needed to not beat myself up.  I needed to be positive about this.  So I gave up.  And went on vacation.

This morning I weighed in at 273.  Which in the scheme of things is not bad for a holiday vacation of 10 days following a month of bad eating.  And today I started the next round of my starvation diet.  I gorged today.  I hate gorging days.  Seriously.  I can not say that strong enough.  I HATE gorging days.  I never thought I would say that.

chicken salad
double bacon cheeseburger and fries
macaroni and cheese
pint of ben and jerry's

I am not hungry.  And yet I think I should be eating more.  Before bed.  I can't.  I just can't.

Tomorrow will be more food.  Lost more food.  Makes me sick to think about it.

Wednesday I start the healthy eating.  21 days.  Committed.  Looking forward to it.  Send me your strength.

Mean Mama

New Year Resolutions

I know that New Year Resolutions are suppose to be made at the "new year" but I was traveling.  I was thinking of them.  And I was composing -- in my head.  This year I have decided to make a whole list.  Maybe this way I will be able to accomplish some of them.  So here is the list...

1.  Lose 123 50 pounds.  The diet has started today but that is a separate post.
2.  Read at least 1 book a month.  At least one of them must be a self help book but not all can be self help.
3.  Write the next great American novel a short story.
4.  Find a new job.
5.  Move.
6.  Buy my first home.
7.  Pay off all credit cards FIA credit card.
8.  Make at least one pair of earrings a week.
9.  Get at least 8 hours of sleep at least 4 times per week.  That shouldn't be too difficult -- only need to be to bed by 11:30pm.
10. Blog at least 15 times per month.
11.  Get child enrolled in a sport.
12.  Get involved with a charity.
13.  Refinish the new kitchen table.
14.  Enroll in a creative class -- writing, jewelry making, pottery...
15.  Start a 529 account.
16.  Clean the house once a month (yes, I know that grosses some people out).
17.  Eat out no more then 2 times per month.
18.  Call my friends and family more often -- rely on the internet less.
19.  Start training for the Boston Marathon.  I know this seems out of the blue for most but it has been a long term dream of mine.
20.  Fold and put away the laundry within 24 hours of washing it each week.
21.  Buy a new camera and take more photos of Ladybug.  Mine has officially died now.
22.  Pay all bills on time.
23.  Become caffeine free.

Okay.  That's it.  With such a long and diverse list there is a real possibility that I can be successful in something.  Wish me luck.  I will update you every month on my success (or failures).

Mean Mama