diet update

I have been neglectful in my diet update.  But there was no real good news to tell.  So let me tell the bad news.

The last time I talked about the diet I had decided to do a quick round an drop a few before Christmas.

Really???  What kind of idiot am I?

After Thanksgiving I had my sister's birthday, 2 brother's birthdays, Ladybug's birthday, my birthday, 2 Christmas parties, and stress.  Why would I assume I could ever stick to a diet during that?

To be honest I did drop a few pounds -- before I gave up.  I got down to 268.  And then I gave up.  Just gave up.  I needed to not beat myself up.  I needed to be positive about this.  So I gave up.  And went on vacation.

This morning I weighed in at 273.  Which in the scheme of things is not bad for a holiday vacation of 10 days following a month of bad eating.  And today I started the next round of my starvation diet.  I gorged today.  I hate gorging days.  Seriously.  I can not say that strong enough.  I HATE gorging days.  I never thought I would say that.

chicken salad
double bacon cheeseburger and fries
macaroni and cheese
pint of ben and jerry's

I am not hungry.  And yet I think I should be eating more.  Before bed.  I can't.  I just can't.

Tomorrow will be more food.  Lost more food.  Makes me sick to think about it.

Wednesday I start the healthy eating.  21 days.  Committed.  Looking forward to it.  Send me your strength.

Mean Mama