So we went. I took a book. I set myself on a bench and sent her off to play. I could see her. I read. But I wanted to see her succeed at this. She immediately found a dad. Not a little girl. Not a little boy. A dad. And she started talking to him. I could see him looking around for her parent. He didn't see me. Well, he did... he just didn't realize I was mom. So after awhile of her "playing" with the dad, I went over and sat within conversation distance from her. The dad left.
I encouraged her to go play again. She begged me to push her on the swing. Something she can do herself. I told her to go play. So she conned a mom into pushing her. What was I going to do? Tell the mom not to push her?
When the mom moved on she found another mom with 3 girls to play with. A little further away from me. And I let her play. But she stuck close to the mom. Until the mom and kids left.
Again I encouraged her to go play. This should not be so difficult. She began to explore a little. Wander a little further. Finally she yelled at me that she was heading to a different section. I slowly followed. By the time I arrived she was playing. With a mom and 2 little kids. I watched. The mom let her kids (who were both younger than Ladybug) play together. And the mom played with Ladybug. The mom would not move more than about 4 feet away from Ladybug. Finally she seemed to realize I was mom. So this mom relaxed some. But she still played with her.
As we were leaving I was worried. Why does Ladybug not know how to play with other kids? I don't remember ever having that kind of problem. And I am an introvert by nature. Ladybug is an extrovert. Why can't she find a kid to play with?
And then I realized why. It isn't that she is socially stunted. It is because families stick together. Even at the park. Siblings play with each other. Only. If there are no siblings then they play with the parents. Kids are not encouraged to play with each other if they do not know each other. So here comes my little girl (only child) encouraged to go play with the other kids (who are not her siblings) and the other parents are horrified that I am not playing with my child.
Apparently I am not only a "mean mama" but I am also a "bad mama."
Mine will play with each other, but other kids too. Sometimes older, sometimes younger. Perhaps they are just used to the build in playmates...
ReplyDeleteI think Ladybug needs a sister ;) *wink wink*
I struggle with this too,getting him to play on his own that is. I watch him when we are out and he has the chance to play, he tends to keep to himself, except to be mean. I was relieved today when we had kids over and he was thrilled. There was a lot of chasing going on. I do want to have another child soon, i'm afraid of lonely onlies.
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