vacation prep

It is always hard to get work ready for a vacation.  I must plan ahead.  I must consider deadlines.  I must prepare clients and inform the attorneys and other paralegal of where each case is.  It takes some time. 

This time was a little easier because of the 8 business days that I will be out of the office, the office will be closed 5 of those days.

It was a little more difficult because at the end of last week this is what my desk looked like...

There was a lot of work to be done.  And on top of all my work, the other paralegal in the office was on vacation all week.  So I had her caseload to keep track of.  But by the time I left work today this is what my desk looked like...

And now I am on vacation!

Mean Mama

Ready!

I think we are officially ready for Christmas.

Now I have to pack it all up, pack clothes, and drive for 2 days.  Shouldn't be bad.  Anybody know if there are any freak snow storms planned?

Mean Mama

Christmas prep

Do you remember my post a little while ago saying that I planned on keeping my kitchen table clean so we could eat at the table every night for dinner?  Well, I can't lie... not every night.  But most nights.  Which drives Ladybug nuts.  But the newest part of Christmas prep has made it difficult.  The table has turned into the project table too.  This is what it has looked like for the better part of the last week.

I am beginning to think I could benefit from a project table.

So we have made some earrings for Christmas.  Is that cheating?  I pull out the beads and I make.  Cheap.  Easy.  And Ladybug gets to design some too.  Which means she gets to give gifts that are just from her.  Well, she designs but I have to do actual work of putting them together.  The first pair she designed has about 20 beads on it...I had to ask her to tone it down.

 The ones above are for my younger sister.  I designed the ones on the left.  Ladybug designed the ones on the right.

 The pair above is for my older sister.  Ladybug is giving her a travel coffee mug.

 This is a pair for my friend I will be staying with during part of the vacation.  I don't think orange is her favorite color but since she was born on Halloween I think she should own a pair of orange earrings.

 The ones above are for my step mom.  Ladybug designed the ones on top.  I did the ones on the bottom.  She needs lots of new earring since someone stole all of her jewelry about a year ago when she was on vacation.

The ones above are for my mom.  She asked for blue earrings.  I think she is getting what she wants.  Ladybug is getting her a book.

The pair above is the earrings Ladybug has designed for me.  I had to put them together.  But I get to open a gift from her on Christmas morning.

Mean Mama

Rudolph

In between all the negative behaviors and hard times,  Ladybug has been offering me to tidbits of information.  Sometimes, it is something that just makes me giggle.  Sometimes, it makes me sit back and scratch my head.  And sometimes, it makes me realize that she really does listen to me.

The other day we were driving home from the gym (yep, still going -- not every day -- and nursing an Achilles injury).  My radio station is in the "24/7 Christmas songs" period of the year. Rudolph came on and we were singing away.  It is a fun song.  Upbeat.  Childish.  Cute.

Ladybug:  Are the other reindeers making fun of Rudolph because he looks different?
Mama: Um.  Well.  Yes, they did.
Ladybug: That is not nice.
Mama:  You're right.
Ladybug:  Everybody looks different, you should not make fun of people because of that.
Mama: You're right.
Ladybug:  We look different.
Mama: What do you mean?
Ladybug: You look different from me.  And people should not make fun of us just because we look different.
Mama:  True.  Families come in all kinds of shapes, sizes, and colors.
Ladybug: So they should have been nice to Rudolph.

Mean Mama

I knew it was coming

She has been doing so well that I knew we were going to blow. 

This morning was... well... hell.

She woke me up an HOUR before I had to get up and I didn't go to bed until nearly 1:30am so I was already pleasant.

When it came time to get ready she wouldn't put down the video game.

She couldn't figure out how to find her pants.

That she put away.

I had to ask her 6 times to get them on.

Oh and then she hit me.

She couldn't figure out how to put her jacket on.

She had a fit that I threw away the rest of the birthday cake.

Because ants were all over it.

Then she didn't put on her socks and shoes.
She stood in the bathroom staring at me with the toothbrush hanging out of her mouth refusing to brush her teeth for about 5 minutes.

And then the fake crying started...

She made it through school without major issues.  She blew out of jump rope club before she even walked in the door.  She cried while at the afterschool program.

I knew what I had to do.  I had to cancel my plans to go to the gym.  I had to go home.  Sit with her while she did homework.  Cook with her.  Do arts and crafts with her.  Read stories with her.  If I had any hope of getting out of this with little damage.  And then when we were walking out to the car this is the conversation we had...

Ladybug: Are you going to olkdfoffgre me?
Me: What? (I swear I thought she asked me if I was going to punch her.  That can't be right.  Can it?)
Ladybug:  Are you going to kjsdfhnef me?
Me: Honey I can't hear you.  What are you asking?  (This time I am pretty sure she is asking if I am going to push her.  Really?  What is going through her head).
Ladybug: Are you going to punish me?
Me: (Oh now that makes more sense.  And is far less scary then what was going on in my head).  No.  I was thinking we needed to spend some extra time together and try to make things better.
Ladybug: Oh.  Okay.

Please let tomorrow be better. Pleeeeeeeease!

Mean Mama

i hate the fake crying

Lotion snob

One of my friends, who will remain nameless, is begging me to get a new addiction.  Pinterest.  She loves it.  I refuse to use it.  I need another addiction like I need a hole in my head.  But today I went to the website.  Ssshhhhhh! Don't tell her.  I didn't go to get involved.  I went to see if I could find any new lotions ideas.  What I found was that... I am a snob.

Some time ago I started making my own lotion.  I don't buy lotion.  I don't use lotion.  I have skin that doesn't require it.  And then I adopted Ladybug.  I was told over and over that I would need to learn how to care for her skin and hair.  And like most typical new adopted parents of children from Ethiopia I spent years buying new products and trying them then shoving the rest into the the back of some cabinet.  And then I got on this "natural" kick.  I was surprised that on Pinterest every recipe included either wax (who puts wax on their skin) or just shows people who to combine other commercial lotions into their own jar.  I want to actually make lotion.

I discovered that most commercial lotions have a ton of crap in it.  And the natural stuff is way too expensive.  So now I make my own.  And it is all natural.  And people will be getting it for xmas this year.  We made lotion today.

We started with this...

Please note that all these ingredients are pure.  That means the vitamin E oil is only vitamin E.  The Shea butter is only Shea butter.  No need to buy a bunch of things with lots of other ingredients in it.  The one exception is the fragrance oil you see in the front... but that was also bought at a health food store and is all natural.

We (because Ladybug helped out with this whole process) put all the Shea butter in the mixing bowl.

Actually that was only half but I later doubled the recipe and used it all.

Then add the oils.

I ended up doing 8 Tablespoons of olive oil and 4 Tablespoons of vitamin oil.  I used both bottles of the fragrance oil.

Then add the coconut oil.  This got tricky.   I was suppose to use 8 ounces for a double recipe.  My jar was 14 ounces.  So I pulled out my kitchen scale.  But the battery was dead.  So I guessed.  I think I used more than 8 ounces.  But this recipe is forgiving.

Blend until smooth.  Just set on high and walk away.

The lotion is very runny.  It needs to chill and set.  But I thought it would be best to get it into the jars first.  First I tried by using a funnel.  It worked but was really slow.  I ended up putting it all into a ziplock bag, cutting a corner off, and squeezing like a pastry bag.  Quick and simple.

This is what we ended up with.

And they are now chilling in the fridge.  15 jars. You can easily modify the recipe with whatever oil you like.  Add jojoba, or caster, or cocoa butter, or whatever you want.  Add your favorite fragrance.  It can be used on skin.  It can be made lighter or diluted to use on hair. 

Mean Mama

refusing to bang my head

I hesitate to tell you how wonderful Ladybug is doing.  Because I know that as soon as I open my mouth things will go downhill.  That is just my kind of luck...and it is all about me.

School has been amazing.  A few minor X's on her contract every once in a while.  Mostly about talking.  No aggression.  No defiance.  No gluing erasers to the chair.  Good behavior.

After school program is great.  Okay, she got kicked out of jump rope club last week for licking the coach.  Yes, I said "licking."  I don't know why.  I just asked her not to again.  She left jump rope club this week because she felt the coach was being unfair.  She is big on the idea that things should be fair.  But one of the nice things about this program is that they love her.  I mean they really LOVE her.  Even when she is being a little ridiculous.

What made the difference?  I stopped banging my head against the brick wall.  Seriously.  I stopped trying to resolve everything.  I stopped trying to fit her into the boxes other people wanted her to be in.  I stopped freaking out over everything.  And she responded. 

And apparently everybody else has decided to stop banging their heads too.

Mean Mama

Photos

I got a new toy for Christmas.  I know it's not Christmas yet but my mama let me pick it out.  And now I have a hobby.  I am playing with my photos.  Here are some of my photos that I have been editing and enhancing...

Mean Mama

Random observations while at the gym today

1.Apparently it is not wise to wear the same clothes on day 2 to workout if I did cardio the day before -- I stank so bad I couldn't stand to be near myself.
2. Dear IBM Man (Yes, he had an IBM t-shirt on), about 50% of men go bald. It is far sexier to be bald than to have a dead animal on your head, and we can all tell it is not your real hair. Besides, who wants to have a rug on their head while sweating.  I can barely stand to have my real hair on my head when working out.
3. Dear Short Boy, I know being short is a blow to your manly ego but putting the bike seat on the highest setting of the stationary bike and then having to wiggle from side to side while you peddle only makes you look silly.  And since you have to readjust your butt back on the seat about every 30 seconds, I have to believe that you already know this.  On the other hand, it is possible that you are doing some serious work on you love handles.
3. Dear Young Girl, it is great that you are exercising. Now use some of those muscles to control the motions instead of looking like a jelly fish on the bike.
4. Dear Hot Guy with the fabulous legs (yes, I was openly drooling over you today), please stop biting your tongue while you pump the weights... you are ruining my fantasies that are helping me to get through this workout.

Turns out the Gym is a better place to people watch than the mall.

Mean Mama

World AIDS Day

HIV and AIDS is not new to me.  It is not new to a lot of people. 

When I was in high school -- many moons ago -- my mom worked for a company where it was her job to do research for AIDS educators.  She did book research, not medical research. 

When I was in elementary school I was best friends with a set of twins.  The quiet shy twin contracted HIV from her cheating boyfriend in college.

Ladybug's had a first best friend.  They met soon after she came home at day care.  They were inseparable.  Her dad also works in HIV world -- although I am unclear exactly what he does.  He travels all over the world for his job.

And then, of course, there is Ladybug.  Ladybug was born to 2 HIV+ parents.  Her first mother was likely HIV+ through the pregnancy and birth of Ladybug.  Ladybug's mother died of complications of her HIV+ status nearly 18 months after Ladybug was born.  Ladybug's father was in advanced stages of AIDS at the time Ladybug was relinquished for adoption. 

AIDS changed everything for her.  Her parents.  Her family.  Her name.  Her language.  Her country.  Her food.  Her possibilities.  Her future.  AIDS picked her up off the path she was on and dropped her on a completely different road. 

And, of course, AIDS has touched my life.  It gave me my daughter.  I love her and can not imagine my life without her.  But it didn't have to be this way.

Learn about AIDS and HIV.

Mean Mama