driving practices

So while I was in Chicago...on my first day... actually on my ride to the hotel... I looked over at the person driving next to my van.  She was a 20 or 30 something woman.  In a nice car.  Going the speed limit.

In her right hand was a phone (which she was apparently sending a text) and a cigarette.  In her left hand was a coffee cup.  She was steering with her knee.

I had to look away when I saw her reach to change the station on her radio.

Mean Mama

Ladybug's room

I finished Ladybug's room a little while ago.  And as soon as it was done -- and I mean within a few short minutes -- I realized that it needed to be redecorated.  The problem?  Well, she needed a thicker comforter on her bed since I made an decision to move to what I am hoping will be a winter wonderland )and not a nightmare).  The decision for a comforter made me realize that I needed curtains for her room.  And my mom insisted that she needed a rug -- and since she was paying for the rug I did not argue with her.

So I bought curtains.  And based on the curtains I bought a bedspread and a rug.  Ladybug and I agreed we loved the rug and bedspread.  We also agreed we hated the curtains.  So they were returned -- which was difficult for me since I pretty much never return things.

So after I returned the curtains I made the decision to buy simple black curtains for Ladybug's room.  Her rug is black and silver and grey.  Her bedspread is pinks.  Black would work. 

Ladybug had another idea.  She wanted pink.  Hot pink.  She wanted sheer.  I need thermal help.  So I won the material battle and she won the color battle.

Check out the photos of the finished product...

And she likes it.  Which is good because I really need to move onto another room.  It is almost September and I have 5 more rooms to winterize still.

Mean Mama

Chicago scene

Mean Mama

Travel Karma Revisited

My travel karma made a small appearance this last trip.  Not bad.  But a little bit.

I did not break a toe.  But I did find myself verbally reminding myself that I did not want to do that as I packed.  That would not have been good.

I drove Ladybug to my dad's house.  No major issues there.  I minor argument with my dad about what time he was going to drive me to the airport.  He believes that if your flight leaves at 11:30 (which mine did) that there is absolutely no need to get to the airport before 11:00.  While this may be true for some people -- I do not like to chance it. 

I finally got him to agree that I should arrive no later than 10:30 by convincing him that the earlier I get to the airport the more unsupervised time he gets with Ladybug.  Check in was easy.  Security was simple -- first time going through the body scanner.  And I made it to the gate with time to spare.

And that is when I realized just how small my plane was going to be.  A small plane is not good news for someone who hates to fly.  One seat on one side of the aisle and 2 seats on the other side of the aisle.  I didn't even know they made planes that small. 

I board.  To discover someone sitting in my seat.  She asks me to trade with her because she wants to sit next to the woman with the baby.  So I sit in her seat -- one row in front of her.  Next to the guy who fell asleep before take off and snored the entire trip.  As the woman behind me played with the baby -- and she let the baby pull at my hair.

But I arrive in Chicago.  Safe and sound.  And I begin to wonder how I am getting from the airport to the hotel.  I mean, I looked on the website and it said there was a shuttle.  But I don't see any hotel shuttles.  I walk up and down the halls.  So I finally decide to call the hotel and ask.  So I sit down and find the number.  I call.  It rings.  And rings.  And rings.  Really?  A major hotel doesn't answer their phone?  So I go on the hunt for the information booth.  I find it.  Nobody is there.  There is a sign that says they are on a break and will be back soon.  I try to call the hotel again.  Still no answer.  So I stop at another booth to ask them if they know anything.

Turns out it is the shuttle booth.  The hotels don't have shuttles.  But there is a private shuttle company that will take me in.  I buy a ticket.  And make it to the hotel. 

That is not too bad for travel karma.

Mean Mama

Planetbox

After weeks and weeks and weeks I finally took the plunge and bought Ladybug a new lunchbox for school this year.  Why did it take me so long to decide?  Because I fell in love with a lunchbox and really wanted it.  The problem?  It is ridiculously expensive!  But in the end I got it for her anyway.

It is called the Planetbox.  And I love it.  She used it for the first time today.

It came with the outer bag, the tin tray and the 2 round tins.  We already had the bottle... which is a perfect size for the lunchbox.

I opened it up and filled it.  Today I made a chicken salad sandwich, 1/2 cup of grapes, 1 carrot sliced up, and a serving of gluten free crackers.  The center small compartment is for a dessert but I didn't have anything in the house (we stopped and got jelly beans).  I also used the big round tin for goldfish for an afternoon snack.  The water bottle held -- water, of course.  Please notice everything has it's own compartment and yet there is no tupperware to lose or baggies to throw away.

The lid closes.  Magnets go on to make it pretty.  I picked the fairies but there were so many options.  And it gets latched to stay closed.

It gets placed in the bag.  It has a pocket for a cold pack to keep the food chilled.  I could even place a fork or spoon in it if the food required that. 

The bag gets closed and zipped.  The snack tin fits in the outside pack.  And the water bottle fits in a second pocket.

Lunch is ready to go!  It has a shoulder strap or a handle to carry.  It can get tossed in her backpack or carried separately.  It can get tossed, turned, flipped.  The food stays where you put it.  When she opens the box to eat, it will be all neat and organized.

And at the end of the day this is what she cam home with.  Quick wash of the few pieces and we are ready for the next day.  No running out of baggies.  No searching for tupperware lids.  Portion control.  Healthy eating made easy. 

I love it so much I might just get one for myself too.  Because it is the coolest thing ever!

Mean Mama

Sometimes I feel like I missed something

Do you ever feel like that?  There are just moments when I look at Ladybug and wonder how I messed up that lesson.

I was suppose to clean out the car last week but I didn't get to it (you can read that as I was just too lazy).  And then we went away over the weekend.  To my mom's.  Who is a bit of a neat freak (you can read that as her house is normally spotless).  And we used my car over the weekend because it was easier then moving Ladybug's booster seat.  I was embarrassed.  But she didn't say anything.

We arrived home on Sunday evening I decided that in the process of unpacking from the trip I might as well clean the car too.  I asked Ladybug to help.  Grunts, groans and heavy sighs followed.  But she cleaned.

"Everything?"

Yes, everything.  I mean, why would I leave some of the trash in the car?

We got everything out of the car and into the house.  I asked her to take care of her stuff.  Her stuff.  Not the trash.  Not my junk.  Her stuff. 

"WHAT?"

Why is that a surprise?  I mean she is 7.5 years old.  Shouldn't she be expected to help with this family?  I feel like maybe I have failed in not establishing this expectation earlier.

She doesn't think so. She wants me to take care of the trash and my stuff and help with her stuff as well.  I don't think so.  I mean, I am already taking care of unpacking her clothes and sticking it in the laundry.  She has forgotten her coloring stuff at my mom's.  All she has to do is put away her computer and but her stuff animals back up on her bed.  And that is too much for her?

How did I fail at this?  Either way, she is going to get use to helping out.

Mean Mama

Sometimes I am perfect

Today I planned to take Ladybug to the end of the summer pool party.  I knew she would love it.  I knew it was important to her.  I wanted her to go.

And then I walked into camp to pick her up at the end of the day.  I was approached by a teacher wanting to tell me about her day.

1. She called 2 teachers "fat"
2. She refused to clean up
3. She called 1 teacher an "asshole"
4. She spit at some kids
5. She told her teachers that it didn't matter what she did because I would never punish her

Oh really?

She comes running up to me with her friends and asks what time we are going to the pool party.  I almost start laughing... but I don't.  I just tell her we are not going. 

And then she has the nerve to ask me why.  Why?  Are you serious. 

So I tell her that she can not have a bad day and get rewarded.

She lies -- I didn't know "asshole" was a bad word.  It took some digging to find out where she learned that word (because I swear like a trucker but not around her).

She bargains -- promises to not act like that again..

She throws a guilt trip -- T's mom will her go even though she behaved badly today.  Which is likely true but I don't care.

She wails and screams and cries... as we walk toward the car.  She refuses to buckle up once in the car.  I asked several times.  Finally she tells me she is not buckling her seat belt until I promise to take her to the pool party. 

Where has she been living for the last 6 years?

I wait.  She buckles.

She wails and cries all the way home.  She refuses to get out of the car once we are home.  I let her stay in the car. 

She states she is not doing her math homework.  She did it.

And then the real drama started.  Huge tears.  Throwing herself on the floor.  Wailing.  Screaming.  Yelling that I don't even care about her -- much less love her.  I hate her.  I must.  Otherwise I would act differently.

Not once did I raise my voice.  Not once did I give her a dirty look.  Not once did I bite at the little snacks she was throwing at me.

Within in an hour of being approached by the teacher, she was snuggled into my arms, with little sobs, telling me that she loves me.  She helped cook dinner.  She did the dishes -- and soaked the floor.  We had a great night.

Mean Mama

Being sick

I get this strange sickness.  I haven't had it in a few years.  But I use to get it a few times a year.  My mom thought I was exaggerating the symptoms when I explained it to her -- nice nurse.  But then she saw it.  It freaked her out.  Wanted to take me to the ER.  But I told her it would pass.  And it did.  She was still a little freaked.

Yesterday was a typical day of the illness.

I start the day out fine.  No problems.  Not feeling low energy (or at least not lower than normal).  No hints of sickness at all.  Running around.  Making plans.  Everything thing is normal.

At 3:30pm I left a meeting and began the 1 hour drive back to my office (because I forgot to pack my computer and I wasn't planning on being in the office today so I needed it with me).

As I pulled up to the office at 4:30pm I began to feel an inkling that maybe something was a little off. I wasn't really feeling sick but I was beginning to have a feeling that maybe I might be getting sick.  I had a brief conversation and grabbed my stuff and left.

Just before 5pm I pulled into Ladybug's summer camp and I was feeling like crap.  It took all my energy to get out the car and I hoped she was having a good day.  She hadn't.  It was actually terrible.  She picked the wrong day to have a bad day.

We were home by 5:30pm and I went straight to bed.  I tried to read.  But I was exhausted.  Every part of my body ached.  It was hard to lift my head.  My breathing was labored.  If I breathed too deeply I would cough -- almost like what a person with asthma would have but I don't have asthma.  I had a fever.  And chills.

By 6pm Ladybug and I were asleep.  Not moving anywhere.  Not doing anything.  No dinner.  No TV.  No internet.  No nothing.

At 9:30pm I woke up and mustered enough energy to get up and lock up the house and change into PJs.  Then I crawled back in bed and slept.

The alarm went off this morning at 6am.  And I was fine.  Like I had never been sick.  Refreshed and ready to face a new day.  Guess it was just a 12 hour flu??

Mean Mama

work update

I guess I should take some time to update you on my job.  I think my last  information to you was that they didn't like me.  I tried to remember to not take it personally.  I know it wasn't ME that they didn't like.  They didn't like my position. 

Some still don't.  I have come to realize that I will not ever win some of them over.  And I will never be (because I have never been) the popular one in the office.  I can accept that.  I have been working hard to improve my relationships with those in the office.  It amazes me how much work that is.

The office prides itself on being open and accepting.  On being innovative and progressive.  I find them to be egotistical and condescending as a group.  It is like a mob mentality.  But I have also discovered that as individuals some of them are really great people.

Of course I feel most connected to the person who is least connected to the other people in the office.  And I fear that her supervisor is setting her up to be fired.  And I think she is going to try to use me to accomplish it.  The supervisor has asked me to be a part of the supervision this week.  To go over cases that she feels the worker has messed up on.  And she did mess up on them.  But I also think those are learning opportunities.  She doesn't need to be broken down.  She needs to be built up.

I have seen this supervisor lovingly set up someone to fail.  Just the other day she tried to set me up.  But in reality... she is no match for me.

We were in teaming discussing new cases.  I go to all team meetings (if I am in the office) but I only contribute when I have something unique to say.  So I new DV case came up and they were discussing it.  But I didn't contribute because they seemed on target.  So she turned to me and said... Just so you know about the specifics of this case (because of course I wouldn't know)...

And that is where I cut her off.  I told her I had read the intake, I had talked with the previous worker, I had talked with the current worker, I had done all the background checks, and I had some concerns but that the worker (who happened to be the one I think she is trying to figure out how to fire) was addressing this concern and I really thought we needed more time with the client before we jumped to conclusions.

She shut up.

Okay I didn't mean to turn this into a bitching session.  Things are good.  Mostly.  I have decorated my office and it is much nicer to be in.  I have stuck my nose into any case I think I should be in and I am not allowing myself to be pushed out.  I have connected with the local community agencies that can assist me with this work.  I have gotten involved with groups and take on new projects.

It really is getting better.  I just have a long way to go still.

Mean Mama

July update

1.  Loose 55 pounds by December 31, 2012.  Holding steady at down 12 pounds  Still only 43 to go now.

2.  Begin writing a book.  I have a fiction and non-fiction option.  Giving myself 2 years to complete it.  Feeling good about this but not willing to share anything.


3.  In June I need to get 8 hours of sleep at least one night a week. Each month after I must add one more night per week.  Done.  Simple.  Two nights a week.  In August I will need to get 8 hours of sleep at least 3 nights a week.  This will be more difficult for me.  But I understand it's importance.


4.  Blog at least 12 times per month.  Success!

5.  Finish unpacking and putting together rooms in the house.  One room a month.  Problem is I have more rooms than months this year.  July is the upstairs bathroom.   Done!  And here are the pictures to prove it.  

Of course I would love to replace the old 50's style sink, put in a toilet that flushes on the first try, and install a new tub that doesn't have cracks in it.  But I rent.  So all I could do was accessorize.  The good news is that the only think I needed to buy was the window curtains.  I owned everything else already.  Quick and cheap fix up.


I also planned on giving you an update on Ladybug's room.  But it turned a little more complicated then I anticipated.  I found curtains that we both loved and I ordered them.  I found a rug that would go with the curtains.  And I found a fabulous bedspread.  Once everything arrived it turned out that we hated the curtains but loved the rug and the bedspread.  So I have returned the second set of curtains purchased for her room and I am looking for the 3rd and final set.  Once I have those I will post an update on Ladybug's room.

August will be either the study or the kitchen.  Tune in to see the results.

6.  Start a 529 account.  Done.

7.  Start a savings account. I am still adjusting to the new finances.  I will worry about this in the fall.  I really need to get a few things under control this summer.  And the fact that I just found out that my monthly heating bill is estimated to be $266 for 10 months is not helping my finance worries.


8.  Eat out no more then 2 times per month.  I think it is important to keep this one from last year.  Failed.  I ate out 5 times.  Once a week for the month.  Not bad.  But still not meeting the goal.


9.  Reinstall Photoshop and start editing photos again.  Nope.  But I tried.  I uninstalled it.  I reinstalled.  I uninstalled again.  I let my little techno-geek sister work with it.  It was then when I realized I had bought a VIDEO editing software.  I need to purchase the photo editing.  But worried about the pending heating bills.

10. Pay all bills on time. Nope. But I am all caught up.  I wonder why I have no ability to pay my bills on time.


11. Make at least 1 pair of earrings each week.  Nope.  But I did find the bag that contained all the beads.  But I don't honestly see being able to be creative with them until I have fully unpacked the study and put everything away.  Maybe that will happen this month.


12.  Adding a new goal this month... Ladybug will sleep in her own bed.  Please!  She did the other night.  Hoping for a repeat performance tonight.

Mean Mama