Meeting Dr. Swiper

Okay her name is not really Swiper.  But Ladybug can not pronounce her name correctly and ended up calling her Dr. Swiper -- as in Dora.

Last week I met with the psychiatrist on Tuesday.  I think I already blogged about that.  Thursday I took Ladybug to meet her.  I had told her that we were meeting with the doctor so she could help us be a better family.  She had already met with our counselor so she wasn't really scared about this. 

We both went in this time.  I took a back seat -- not literally.  But I had already had my time with her.  It was Ladybug's turn.  And Dr. Swiper really started out by immediately directing her questions and comments and explanations directly to Ladybug.  After about 30 seconds Ladybug looked over at me with a questioning look.  So I just told her she could be completely honest.

Dr. Swiper asked her if there was anything we could do to make things better in our house.  She responded with, "I want chicken nuggets more."  Which is being honest.   But a little off topic.

So Dr. Swiper tried to refocus her.  "Do you and mom fight too much?"  "Do you like it when you argue at home?"  "Are you having problems at home?"

And I watched her.  And I saw her shutting down.  She was looking away from Dr. Swiper.  And away from me.  She crossed her arms.  Her voice got low.  Her answers got short.  There was a "tone" about her.  Let's face it...I watch my child all the time.  I can read her like a book -- sometimes the book is in a different language.  And I knew exactly what it was.  It was like watching the wheels turn in her head.  She was feeling like she was being blamed for everything.  She thought we were saying she was bad. 

So I interrupted it.  I wanted her to remain open.  And I got emotional.  I teared up -- I tear up at hallmark commercials.  I felt like I hadn't prepared her appropriately.  I hadn't told her not to feel bad.  I hadn't told her to not feel bad.  I hadn't told her I had already had my time with Dr. Swiper and so this was really her time -- which is why Dr. Swiper was directing everything towards her.  I felt like a bad mom.  So I interrupted.

She finally looked over at me...saw the tears in my eyes... and got angry.  Well there was a split second where she choked back a sob and then a mini explosion of anger.

I did a brief explanation.  And then I got kicked out of the session.  Well, it was time for them to spend some time together - without me.

The end result:  insecure attachment.  Likely not any true attention issues -- so no ADD or ADHD.  So depression.  Anger and rage issues possible.  Dr. Swiper said Ladybug is smart.  Really smart.  And wonderful.  And open to therapy.  She suggested not doing any medications at this time.  Therapy is the focus.  And she is confident that that is all she needs.  So we continue with therapy.

Mean Mama