Life Changing

I am posting this a day early because I fear I might be busy tomorrow.

Thursday I leave on a trip.  A short trip.  Which has the potential to be life altering.  Seriously.  Thursday I drive about 14 hours.  Luckily Ladybug can handle it.  I will spend the night with my friend.  She has been having a rough time and she could really use some support.  But that is not why I am going up.

Friday I drive another 3 hours and I have a second interview.  They were nice enough to do the first interview by phone.  Things apparently went well -- despite immediately getting the stomach flu upon hanging up the phone after the interview.  They checked my references (yes it pays to develop friendships with former supervisors so you know when people call them for references).  And they invited me for a second interview.

I am trying not to get too excited.  I have no idea how many people they are inviting back for a second interview.  I didn't think it was appropriate to ask.  They could be interviewing 2, 3, 4 or more people.  I could be one of a herd of people who made it through the first round.  I could be the only one.  I have no way of knowing.  I must just do the interview and wait.

And the reality is I am scared.  The problem is I don't really know which I am more scared of... being offered the job or not being offered the job. 

I mean if I am not offered the job, I remain here.  I don't want to be here.  I don't want to raise Ladybug here.  I don't like the school.  I don't want to spend all my vacation time driving long distances to see family.  I don't want Ladybug to see family only once or twice a year.  But I am comfortable here.  I know the resources.  I know the routine.  Ladybug has come so far and things are really (I mean REALLY) good with her right now.

If I am offered the job, I move.  Holy Toledo Batman!  Find a new place to live.  New school.  New surroundings.  New resources.  Finding enough money to move.  Fresh start.  Able to see friends and family.  How will a major move affect Ladybug?  Life upside down. 

So I don't know if I should cross my fingers or not.

Mean Mama