Motivation

I am trying.  I want to.  But it is difficult.

I am back on the diet wagon.  I am hoping to be successful this time.

It is hard because I am stressed.  I eat when I am stressed.  I mean with the new job and moving and everything... I am stressed.

But I just found out my older sister is also back on a diet.  And being successful.  And there is no way she is going to beat me at this.  No way!

Mean Mama

Nothing!

Sometimes I save a post with just a title so that I can remember to go back and write the post later.  And sometimes I sit and look at the title for a while before I remember what I wanted to talk about.  This one took about a week.

In our recent trip (for job hunting purposes -- have I mentioned that I got the job?????) we ran into some difficulties.  Ladybug is not a delicate, careful time of kid.  She is a barrel through it like a bull type of kid.  I know this.  So I usually can deal with it.  On one of the days we were there I had the interview.  My friend decided to take her daughter out of school for the day and travel around the state with Ladybug and I.  We went to one town (about 3 hours away) for the interview.  Then we went to the town we will moving to (another 1.5 hour drive) to see the town.  I thought it might be nice to see the town before moving there.  Then we drove back to my friend's house (about 3.5 hours).  That was a lot of driving.  The girls did great.  They had iPod/MP3 players and they each had a portable DVD player.  There was very little fighting.

However by the end of the trip Ladybug was complaining that none of the movies were working.  I wasn't actually worried about it.  I know my child.  Chances are there was nothing wrong with the DVD player.  Chances are Ladybug has licked and touched and smudged the DVDs.  Yes, I said "lick."  A good cleaning would probably make everything all better for drive home.  When we arrived back to my friend's home I cleaned all the DVDs and tried each one in the portable DVD player.  All worked.  They were gross.

So imagine my surprise when 36 hours later none of the DVDs would work... again.  Here is how that happened.

We had left early in the morning.  We stopped to grab breakfast and gas.  Then we got on the road.  About 15 minutes into the drive (yes 15 minutes!) I hear her in the back seat switching DVD after DVD after DVD.

Mama: What are you doing?  Just pick a movie and watch it.
Ladybug: None of the movies are working.
Mama: How is that possible?
Ladybug: I don't know.
Mama: I just checked all those movies the other day.  They all worked.  What did you do to it?
Ladybug: Nothing!
Mama: Is it plugged in?
Ladybug: Yes.
Mama:  Is it turned on?
Ladybug: Yes.
Mama: Is there a movie in it? (covering all the bases)
Ladybug:: Yes!
Mama: Okay unplug it and turn it off.
Ladybug: Okay. (I should have been worried that she was so compliant)
Mama: Okay now plug it back in and turn it on.
Ladybug: Okay.
Mama: Is it working?
Ladybug: No.
Mama: Well why not? (Like she has an answer?)  It should be working.  What did you do to it?
Ladybug: Nothing!

So I stop.  Because we are getting no where with this conversation.  I reach my hand back so she can hand it to me.  She tosses it to me.  It bounces off my hand and fall to the floor.  I am sure that didn't help.

She picks it up and hands it to me.

And hot chocolate pours out of it!

Now it all makes sense.

It was a long ride home.  And now that it is trashed, we have a long trip ahead of us in 2 weeks when we go back up to look for a place to live.  And a long moving trip when we drive the truck up in about a month.

Mean Mama

Language

Sometimes I am amazed at how language is acquired.

Ladybug refuses to learn some words.  She refuses to learn names.  The other day I asked her to put her dirty bowl in the dishwasher and she didn't know what the "dishwasher" was.  You know... the thing that washes the dishes??  That seemed logical but she could not connect the dots.

On our recent trip we drove by a rock formation that had snow and ice on it.

Ladybug: Mama, snow!
Mama:  Okay.
Ladybug: No... Mama... I LITERALLY saw snow!

She doesn't know the word "dishwasher" but she can appropriately use the word "literally"???

Mean Mama

Mountains!

We traveled last weekend.  We drove about 13 hours.  We stayed with a friend.  Then we went for an interview -- and I say "we" because my friend came with me and so did each of our daughters.  Then we went to check out the new town.

When we were about 6 hours into the trip Ladybug all of a sudden yelled, "MOUNTAINS!"  She was so excited about being in the mountains.

So we drove a few more hours and entered another mountain range.  Because she was so excited by the first set, I decided to get her excited again.

Mama: Ladybug!  Look!
Ladybug: What?
Mama: Mountains!
Ladybug:  Where?
Mama: Um... look out the window.
Ladybug: Mama, those aren't mountains.
Mama: Really?  Then what are they?
Ladybug: The are large hills.
Mama: Um... What do you think mountains are?
Ladybug:  Mountains are pointy at the top.  With snow.  And mountains are blue.  These are round, with no snow, and they are brown.

Can't really argue with that.

Mean Mama

Life Changing

I am posting this a day early because I fear I might be busy tomorrow.

Thursday I leave on a trip.  A short trip.  Which has the potential to be life altering.  Seriously.  Thursday I drive about 14 hours.  Luckily Ladybug can handle it.  I will spend the night with my friend.  She has been having a rough time and she could really use some support.  But that is not why I am going up.

Friday I drive another 3 hours and I have a second interview.  They were nice enough to do the first interview by phone.  Things apparently went well -- despite immediately getting the stomach flu upon hanging up the phone after the interview.  They checked my references (yes it pays to develop friendships with former supervisors so you know when people call them for references).  And they invited me for a second interview.

I am trying not to get too excited.  I have no idea how many people they are inviting back for a second interview.  I didn't think it was appropriate to ask.  They could be interviewing 2, 3, 4 or more people.  I could be one of a herd of people who made it through the first round.  I could be the only one.  I have no way of knowing.  I must just do the interview and wait.

And the reality is I am scared.  The problem is I don't really know which I am more scared of... being offered the job or not being offered the job. 

I mean if I am not offered the job, I remain here.  I don't want to be here.  I don't want to raise Ladybug here.  I don't like the school.  I don't want to spend all my vacation time driving long distances to see family.  I don't want Ladybug to see family only once or twice a year.  But I am comfortable here.  I know the resources.  I know the routine.  Ladybug has come so far and things are really (I mean REALLY) good with her right now.

If I am offered the job, I move.  Holy Toledo Batman!  Find a new place to live.  New school.  New surroundings.  New resources.  Finding enough money to move.  Fresh start.  Able to see friends and family.  How will a major move affect Ladybug?  Life upside down. 

So I don't know if I should cross my fingers or not.

Mean Mama

The Naked Face Project

I heard about this on my radio.  The DJs, who I really like, were horrified by this idea.  Check it out here.

The idea is to go natural for 60 days. 

"For sixty days, we will give up wearing any makeup, removing any body hair, altering our hair from its natural state (dying, curling, straightening), wearing uncomfortable feminine clothing (high heels, tight skirts), wearing jewelry (with the exception of wedding bands), painting our nails, using anti-wrinkle or anti-acne lotions, wearing deodorant, or styling our hair for reasons other than function."

My first reaction was -- Piece of cake!  I could do that.  But let's break this down a little to see if I am being realistic.

1.  No wearing any makeup.  Check.  Seriously easy for me.  I mean I am already doing this.  I don't think I have put any makeup on in over 2 or 3 years.  Maybe I should see if my makeup needs to be trashed.

2. No removing any body hair.  Any?  Okay, I gave up plucking my eyebrows a few years ago.  Sometimes I do it -- and by sometimes I mean every 6 months or so.  I have gone years without shaving my legs -- in the past.  I do it now.  I am not sure I can handle going 60 days now (work) but I do go 7-10 days on a regular basis.  Arm pits??  Oh yeah, not gonna be able to do that one.  I hate arm pit hair.

3.  No altering hair from it's natural state.  No dying -- I can do that (even though Ladybug keeps bugging me to color).  No curling or straightening -- easy.  No blowing it dry (which is when I also style my bangs with a brush) -- ain't gonna happen.  Actually tried that this morning -- not pretty.  If I didn't have bangs it would be easy.  And If I had to give up my hair gel -- deal breaker.  No way.  No how.

4.   No wearing uncomfortable feminine clothing (high heels, tight skirts).  Easiest one yet.  I wear platform clogs and sandals.  But they are comfortable.  I swear. Platform -- not heals.  I am a big believer in comfortable shoes.  Same for clothes.  I don't understand those women who are willing to be uncomfortable for fashion.

5.  No wearing jewelry (with the exception of wedding bands).  Okay I am going to say easy at the same time I will say -- I don't understand this one.  I mean, I am not married so I don't wear a wedding band.  And my fingers are too fat for me to get my 4 favorite rings on.  I will do it again.  Two are birthstones and two are rings I inherited from my grandmother.  Yes, they are adornments but they also have meanings to me.  No necklaces?  I use to wear an Ankh pendant all the time (and by all the time I mean I never ever ever took it off) until Ladybug ripped it off my neck at our first meeting.  It had meaning for me... it was not just adornment.  No earrings?  I actually haven't worn earrings in a long time because my ears have become ultra sensitive but I don't see a problem with wearing an understated pair of earrings.

6.  No painting nails.  Done.  But Ladybug would hate this one.

7.  No using anti-wrinkle or anti-acne lotions.  Done.  But I don't agree.  Okay -- I understand the anti-wrinkle one but the anti-acne is medical.  And what about people who need moisture.  I am lucky... I can go months without using lotion.  Ladybug -- it would just be unhealthy.

8.  No wearing deodorant.  Another major deal breaker.  Not just for me but for those around me.  Seriously stinky without it.  Not pleasant.  Don't want to do it.

9.  No styling our hair for reasons other than function.  Okay this depends.  I put my hair up in a twist with a clip almost every day.  I do this because with my hair down it just annoys me all the time.  So is that a reason of function?  And what about all the styling I do for Ladybug?  Would I have to stop that, too?

So what about you?  Could you do these things for 60 days?

Mean Mama

Please explain

I wonder sometimes why I drive Ladybug to school every morning.  From my front door to the school's front door is .5 miles.  Half!  She could do that.  But I drive her.  Because we have to leave at the same time.  And I drive right by her school on  my way to work.  So... why not. 

But this morning I discovered something that made me go ... HUH?  I was driving Ladybug to school this morning.  I got behind a school bus.  In my complex.  It stopped.  A mom put her son on the bus.  Then the bus drive to school. 

I measured it.  By driving distance it was .2 miles from the bus stop to the school's front door.  However, there is a paved sidewalk from the complex to the school so the distance the child would have to walk is likely .1 mile.  One tenth of a mile... and he rides the bus??? 

When did this become acceptable?

Mean Mama

Title I update

Do you remember back in the fall when I was told my child was in danger of failing because she was so far behind in her reading?  I was shocked.  How could my child fail first grade at the beginning of the year?  But they had a plan.  Title I.  Now Title I is a good thing.  If your child needs it.  I didn't believe she did.  She could read.  How silly to suggest she didn't.  But I signed her up for the class.  Let her go.  Let her read.  Let her prove me (or her teachers wrong).

Within about 4 weeks into the class -- which a mandatory year long commitment -- the Title I teacher told me that she thought Ladybug knew more then she was letting on.  Shocker!  But she stayed in the class -- because, to quote the teacher, it takes an act of God to get a child out of Title I mid year. 

Soon the teacher was doing 2 lessons plans each day.  One for Ladybug and one for the rest of the class.  Ladybug just sailed past her classmates -- or was already ahead of them.

And last week I got the email.  You know... THE email... from the teacher... saying I was right.  She is so far beyond all the other kids that she needs to leave the class.  I told you so!

Oh but nice job.  Nice job dropping this on my lap.  They needed my help.  Because while they wanted to remove her from the Title I class, they weren't sure how she would react.  Really??  A child with attachment issues might have a problem with change?  NO!  Say it ain't so!

But I did not throw it back to them.  I mean, I am the mom.  So I did the work.  And I got her prepared for the change.  And this week... she is out of the class.

Mama always knows best.

Mean Mama

week 2 of Power of 10

I know I am a little late in doing week 2 but I will make it up.

This week I picked out 10 of Ladybug's things with ease.  I opened one of her toy chests and grabbed 10 items.  Toys she never plays with.  And toys she won't notice at missing.

 She is a hoarder in training. You will see an old remote and a mirror.  These were not originally these things.  She would not let me throw them away before.  But she never uses them.  So out they go.

Picking out 10 things for me turned out to be more difficult then I thought.  I really didn't have anything I wanted to give away at first.  But then I thought -- isn't that what this is all about.  I thought about getting rid of some jewelry.  I looked and there were earrings I was willing to let go of.  But then I realized those were ones Ladybug really likes so I gave them to her.  And then I realized that didn't fit the goal either.  But eventually I found 10 things.

In the back left is a George Forman grill.  I am getting rid of it because the non-stick has worn off.  I have to spray it with cooking spray with each use.  That is not really how it is suppose to be used.  And I have a second (bigger) one.  So it is ditched.  In the back middle is a clear plastic lid with a pair of crocs in it.  I am getting rid of the clear plastic lid because I don't know what it belongs to.  I am getting rid of the crocs because I haven't worn them in over 2 years.  In the back right are 2 bags (es I am counting it as 2 things).  They are insulated grocery bags.  Which I never use.  In the left middle is a puzzle.  I got it for Christmas this year.  I liked it.  I did it.  I don't plan on doing it again.  So it can go. On the left bottom is a photo frame/clock thing.  I got it for Christmas a few years ago.  Never used it.  It has been sitting in my closet since I got it.  In the bottom middle it the pillow case of a complete sheet set.  I love this sheet set.  I use it a lot.  It is flannel so I use it all winter.  And it has developed some holes.  So I much as I love it, it was time to let go of it.  On the bottom right there are 2 pairs of shoes.  I bought them when I moved here and was looking for a job.  I wore them to job interviews.  And never again.  So they have sat in my closet for nearly 7 years.  Time to let go of them.

Done.  And now I must come up with another 10 before the end of the week.

Mean Mama

sickness

I was in bed on Saturday and Sunday.  My child has a super human immune system.  I recovered from the stomach flu the weekend before.  But she brought home a head cold.  It slowed her down (meaning she coughed at night but still went to school) for about 36 hours.  She shared it. 

Soar throat on Friday.  In bed on Saturday and Sunday.  No chance of work on Monday.  Off to the doctor on Tuesday.

I called my doctor and asked for an appointment.  They told me I would have to wait until Thursday.  NOT A CHANCE.  So I went to urgent care.  Knowing my insurance would not cover any of it.  So I paid $175 and what was a I told?

I was sick. 

No seriously... that is what I was told.  DUH!  I knew that much.

But I got a Zpak (which works with amazing speed) and a cough medicine with codeine.  Oh how I loved that stuff.  I felt no pain.  I slept.

But first... I worked.  I got home from the doctor, took the meds, and then work called.  Deadlines could care less that I am sick.  And I know this case better than the boss.  I tried to explain it... as my drugs began to take over my brain.  But I couldn't.  I tried sending emails... but a lot of the information seemed to be in my drug riddled brain.  But they needed something.  So I fought my codeine coma and worked (from home).  For a few hours.  And then I was done for the day.

And luckily I made it back to work on Wednesday.  But my house is a disaster.  Complete disaster.

Mean Mama