preparation

Blogging is really hard right now.  I am stressed.  This move is really being hard on me.  I am moving from a major metropolitan area where everything is at my finger tips to a small town (about 7k people).  Finding housing long distance is proving difficult.  Finding after school care is proving to be difficult.  And I start my new job in less that 1 month.  I am STRESSED.

And apparently stress paralyzes me.

But I did start the packing process.  Last week I pulled everything out of the downstairs closet to start packing.

What a mess.  So I started packing.

Packed and ready to go.

And then a few days later I decided to pack toys in the cedar chest.  I started with this mess.

And ended with this.

And there is still more room for all the other toys not yet packed.

And by the end of all the packing this is what my living room looked like.

Please note that the desk has started to be packed.  And the filing cabinet it now empty -- and packed.

The living room is a disaster again -- but it is a work in progress, I guess.  I have also started packing the kitchen.  Let's face it -- I am not going to be doing any complicated cooking in the next month (holy cow, I am moving in less than a month!) so might as well get it packed.  Will make more progress tomorrow.  Hopefully.

Mean Mama

End the hypocrisy

I am having an inner struggle.  Normally I would say something in this situation.  Normally I would be vocal about my opinion.  But the problem is the person I want to scream at is one of my biological brothers.  But there is a part of me that doesn't want to rock the boat.  I want to have a relationship with him.  But today I began to realize that maybe that is not possible.

Yesterday he posted on his facebook account about Trayvon Martin.  Have you heard of Trayvon?  Of course you have... no way have you stumbled onto my blog but not heard of Trayvon.  He posted that he was sure that Trayvon must have done something to make Zimmerman come after him.  He believes Zimmerman was justified in killing him.  And he believed at some point we would all learn the full story and learn it was a justified killing.  Zimmerman remains free and uncharged with the death of this teenager.

I don't agree.  At all.  I listened to the 911 calls.  I listened to Zimmerman's call.  He was home when he called.  He could have stayed home.  He was told to stay home.  But he opted to leave his home, with a gun, confront an unarmed teenage boy half his size, and ultimately kill him.  I don't know how you can justify that.  There were so many times in that short span of time that he could have done something else and Trayvon would still be alive. 

And then today.  Another post.  On facebook.  This time he posted a link to an article about a soccer game in North Carolina.  A white girl on one team apparently tripped (maybe accidentally) a black girl on the other team.  It would have stopped there.  But the black girl got up and then beat the white girl.  The black girl was removed from the game.  She was removed from the arena.  She was arrested for assault.  But on my brother's facebook post he stated the we needed to "End the hypocrisy!"  He wanted to know why were we not outraged for this white girl like we were for the black boy.

Well let me count the reasons...
1. Trayvon died ... white girl did not (sorry I don't know her name).
2.  Black girl (don't know her name either) was held accountable for her actions b ejection from the game and arrested ... Zimmerman has not been held accountable for his actions.
3.  Nobody has defended this black girl for her action of beating the white girl ... people are not only defending Zimmerman but some are inviting him to go on TV to tell his side of the story.

Mean Mama

Power of 10 -- week 3

Power of 10 is taking on a new look.  Because I need to get rid of stuff.  I know I am little behind.  But I will make up for it.

So this weekend I began the packing process.  So my power of 10 goals are no longer exact.  I did not pick out 10 things of Ladybug's to get rid of.  But I did pick out some things.

It is more than 10.  Most of these came from cleaning out a closet.

And I did not pick out 10 of my things.

This is a little harder to see.  Off to recycling was a bunch of wrapping paper, 2 boxes and a bunch of bills that are old.  Off to the trash was the broken dvd player, a broken filing box, and my carpet steamer.  Counted as individual things it is way more then 10 things.  But I am so disappointed that my carpet cleaner broke right before I need to move -- and steam clean my carpets.

I promised 5 weeks of power of 10 so I have 2 more to do.  With all the packing I need to do I am sure I will get this done.

Mean Mama

Motivation

I am trying.  I want to.  But it is difficult.

I am back on the diet wagon.  I am hoping to be successful this time.

It is hard because I am stressed.  I eat when I am stressed.  I mean with the new job and moving and everything... I am stressed.

But I just found out my older sister is also back on a diet.  And being successful.  And there is no way she is going to beat me at this.  No way!

Mean Mama

Nothing!

Sometimes I save a post with just a title so that I can remember to go back and write the post later.  And sometimes I sit and look at the title for a while before I remember what I wanted to talk about.  This one took about a week.

In our recent trip (for job hunting purposes -- have I mentioned that I got the job?????) we ran into some difficulties.  Ladybug is not a delicate, careful time of kid.  She is a barrel through it like a bull type of kid.  I know this.  So I usually can deal with it.  On one of the days we were there I had the interview.  My friend decided to take her daughter out of school for the day and travel around the state with Ladybug and I.  We went to one town (about 3 hours away) for the interview.  Then we went to the town we will moving to (another 1.5 hour drive) to see the town.  I thought it might be nice to see the town before moving there.  Then we drove back to my friend's house (about 3.5 hours).  That was a lot of driving.  The girls did great.  They had iPod/MP3 players and they each had a portable DVD player.  There was very little fighting.

However by the end of the trip Ladybug was complaining that none of the movies were working.  I wasn't actually worried about it.  I know my child.  Chances are there was nothing wrong with the DVD player.  Chances are Ladybug has licked and touched and smudged the DVDs.  Yes, I said "lick."  A good cleaning would probably make everything all better for drive home.  When we arrived back to my friend's home I cleaned all the DVDs and tried each one in the portable DVD player.  All worked.  They were gross.

So imagine my surprise when 36 hours later none of the DVDs would work... again.  Here is how that happened.

We had left early in the morning.  We stopped to grab breakfast and gas.  Then we got on the road.  About 15 minutes into the drive (yes 15 minutes!) I hear her in the back seat switching DVD after DVD after DVD.

Mama: What are you doing?  Just pick a movie and watch it.
Ladybug: None of the movies are working.
Mama: How is that possible?
Ladybug: I don't know.
Mama: I just checked all those movies the other day.  They all worked.  What did you do to it?
Ladybug: Nothing!
Mama: Is it plugged in?
Ladybug: Yes.
Mama:  Is it turned on?
Ladybug: Yes.
Mama: Is there a movie in it? (covering all the bases)
Ladybug:: Yes!
Mama: Okay unplug it and turn it off.
Ladybug: Okay. (I should have been worried that she was so compliant)
Mama: Okay now plug it back in and turn it on.
Ladybug: Okay.
Mama: Is it working?
Ladybug: No.
Mama: Well why not? (Like she has an answer?)  It should be working.  What did you do to it?
Ladybug: Nothing!

So I stop.  Because we are getting no where with this conversation.  I reach my hand back so she can hand it to me.  She tosses it to me.  It bounces off my hand and fall to the floor.  I am sure that didn't help.

She picks it up and hands it to me.

And hot chocolate pours out of it!

Now it all makes sense.

It was a long ride home.  And now that it is trashed, we have a long trip ahead of us in 2 weeks when we go back up to look for a place to live.  And a long moving trip when we drive the truck up in about a month.

Mean Mama

Language

Sometimes I am amazed at how language is acquired.

Ladybug refuses to learn some words.  She refuses to learn names.  The other day I asked her to put her dirty bowl in the dishwasher and she didn't know what the "dishwasher" was.  You know... the thing that washes the dishes??  That seemed logical but she could not connect the dots.

On our recent trip we drove by a rock formation that had snow and ice on it.

Ladybug: Mama, snow!
Mama:  Okay.
Ladybug: No... Mama... I LITERALLY saw snow!

She doesn't know the word "dishwasher" but she can appropriately use the word "literally"???

Mean Mama

Mountains!

We traveled last weekend.  We drove about 13 hours.  We stayed with a friend.  Then we went for an interview -- and I say "we" because my friend came with me and so did each of our daughters.  Then we went to check out the new town.

When we were about 6 hours into the trip Ladybug all of a sudden yelled, "MOUNTAINS!"  She was so excited about being in the mountains.

So we drove a few more hours and entered another mountain range.  Because she was so excited by the first set, I decided to get her excited again.

Mama: Ladybug!  Look!
Ladybug: What?
Mama: Mountains!
Ladybug:  Where?
Mama: Um... look out the window.
Ladybug: Mama, those aren't mountains.
Mama: Really?  Then what are they?
Ladybug: The are large hills.
Mama: Um... What do you think mountains are?
Ladybug:  Mountains are pointy at the top.  With snow.  And mountains are blue.  These are round, with no snow, and they are brown.

Can't really argue with that.

Mean Mama

Life Changing

I am posting this a day early because I fear I might be busy tomorrow.

Thursday I leave on a trip.  A short trip.  Which has the potential to be life altering.  Seriously.  Thursday I drive about 14 hours.  Luckily Ladybug can handle it.  I will spend the night with my friend.  She has been having a rough time and she could really use some support.  But that is not why I am going up.

Friday I drive another 3 hours and I have a second interview.  They were nice enough to do the first interview by phone.  Things apparently went well -- despite immediately getting the stomach flu upon hanging up the phone after the interview.  They checked my references (yes it pays to develop friendships with former supervisors so you know when people call them for references).  And they invited me for a second interview.

I am trying not to get too excited.  I have no idea how many people they are inviting back for a second interview.  I didn't think it was appropriate to ask.  They could be interviewing 2, 3, 4 or more people.  I could be one of a herd of people who made it through the first round.  I could be the only one.  I have no way of knowing.  I must just do the interview and wait.

And the reality is I am scared.  The problem is I don't really know which I am more scared of... being offered the job or not being offered the job. 

I mean if I am not offered the job, I remain here.  I don't want to be here.  I don't want to raise Ladybug here.  I don't like the school.  I don't want to spend all my vacation time driving long distances to see family.  I don't want Ladybug to see family only once or twice a year.  But I am comfortable here.  I know the resources.  I know the routine.  Ladybug has come so far and things are really (I mean REALLY) good with her right now.

If I am offered the job, I move.  Holy Toledo Batman!  Find a new place to live.  New school.  New surroundings.  New resources.  Finding enough money to move.  Fresh start.  Able to see friends and family.  How will a major move affect Ladybug?  Life upside down. 

So I don't know if I should cross my fingers or not.

Mean Mama

The Naked Face Project

I heard about this on my radio.  The DJs, who I really like, were horrified by this idea.  Check it out here.

The idea is to go natural for 60 days. 

"For sixty days, we will give up wearing any makeup, removing any body hair, altering our hair from its natural state (dying, curling, straightening), wearing uncomfortable feminine clothing (high heels, tight skirts), wearing jewelry (with the exception of wedding bands), painting our nails, using anti-wrinkle or anti-acne lotions, wearing deodorant, or styling our hair for reasons other than function."

My first reaction was -- Piece of cake!  I could do that.  But let's break this down a little to see if I am being realistic.

1.  No wearing any makeup.  Check.  Seriously easy for me.  I mean I am already doing this.  I don't think I have put any makeup on in over 2 or 3 years.  Maybe I should see if my makeup needs to be trashed.

2. No removing any body hair.  Any?  Okay, I gave up plucking my eyebrows a few years ago.  Sometimes I do it -- and by sometimes I mean every 6 months or so.  I have gone years without shaving my legs -- in the past.  I do it now.  I am not sure I can handle going 60 days now (work) but I do go 7-10 days on a regular basis.  Arm pits??  Oh yeah, not gonna be able to do that one.  I hate arm pit hair.

3.  No altering hair from it's natural state.  No dying -- I can do that (even though Ladybug keeps bugging me to color).  No curling or straightening -- easy.  No blowing it dry (which is when I also style my bangs with a brush) -- ain't gonna happen.  Actually tried that this morning -- not pretty.  If I didn't have bangs it would be easy.  And If I had to give up my hair gel -- deal breaker.  No way.  No how.

4.   No wearing uncomfortable feminine clothing (high heels, tight skirts).  Easiest one yet.  I wear platform clogs and sandals.  But they are comfortable.  I swear. Platform -- not heals.  I am a big believer in comfortable shoes.  Same for clothes.  I don't understand those women who are willing to be uncomfortable for fashion.

5.  No wearing jewelry (with the exception of wedding bands).  Okay I am going to say easy at the same time I will say -- I don't understand this one.  I mean, I am not married so I don't wear a wedding band.  And my fingers are too fat for me to get my 4 favorite rings on.  I will do it again.  Two are birthstones and two are rings I inherited from my grandmother.  Yes, they are adornments but they also have meanings to me.  No necklaces?  I use to wear an Ankh pendant all the time (and by all the time I mean I never ever ever took it off) until Ladybug ripped it off my neck at our first meeting.  It had meaning for me... it was not just adornment.  No earrings?  I actually haven't worn earrings in a long time because my ears have become ultra sensitive but I don't see a problem with wearing an understated pair of earrings.

6.  No painting nails.  Done.  But Ladybug would hate this one.

7.  No using anti-wrinkle or anti-acne lotions.  Done.  But I don't agree.  Okay -- I understand the anti-wrinkle one but the anti-acne is medical.  And what about people who need moisture.  I am lucky... I can go months without using lotion.  Ladybug -- it would just be unhealthy.

8.  No wearing deodorant.  Another major deal breaker.  Not just for me but for those around me.  Seriously stinky without it.  Not pleasant.  Don't want to do it.

9.  No styling our hair for reasons other than function.  Okay this depends.  I put my hair up in a twist with a clip almost every day.  I do this because with my hair down it just annoys me all the time.  So is that a reason of function?  And what about all the styling I do for Ladybug?  Would I have to stop that, too?

So what about you?  Could you do these things for 60 days?

Mean Mama

Please explain

I wonder sometimes why I drive Ladybug to school every morning.  From my front door to the school's front door is .5 miles.  Half!  She could do that.  But I drive her.  Because we have to leave at the same time.  And I drive right by her school on  my way to work.  So... why not. 

But this morning I discovered something that made me go ... HUH?  I was driving Ladybug to school this morning.  I got behind a school bus.  In my complex.  It stopped.  A mom put her son on the bus.  Then the bus drive to school. 

I measured it.  By driving distance it was .2 miles from the bus stop to the school's front door.  However, there is a paved sidewalk from the complex to the school so the distance the child would have to walk is likely .1 mile.  One tenth of a mile... and he rides the bus??? 

When did this become acceptable?

Mean Mama